User Reviews

"It Had to Be You" is a decent romantic comedy. However, despite my having a reservation about the plot (which I'll get to in a moment), I don't want to miss mentioning something really important about this film. The director and co-writer of the film, Sasha Gordon, is a successful composer for movies but has very, very limited experience in directing and writing. In fact, it's the first full- length film she's ever made...and I really think it's important to remember this. After all, with experience, I can only see her films getting better and better and this is an amazing film for someone with her limited experience.

The plot is what bothered me a bit about the picture...and it might be worse because I am a trained psychotherapist. The couple in the film probably never should have been together and the nice ending, to me, made the counselor in me want to jump up and yell "Don't marry her!!!". Let me explain more about this...

When the film begins, Sonia stumbles upon her boyfriend preparing for an incredibly romantic evening where he's going to ask her to marry him. Instead of staying, she sneaks out of the apartment and phones her friend to tell her how horrified and confused she feels...as she doesn't want to get married. Unfortunately, when she turns around, Chris (Dan Soder), happens to be standing there...hearing how his beloved isn't thrilled about marriage or his elegant attempt to propose to her. Naturally he's heartbroken but they soon patch things up when she convinces him that she just needs more time. Unfortunately, months later she still is ambivalent about marriage. She does love Chris in her own way...but Sonia seems to love her independence more. Chris, on the other hand, sees the writing on the wall and is ready to leave and find someone willing to commit herself to him completely. After all, he's 32 and wants to marry, settle down and have a family.

So here is my problem with the film. Although I loved the characters, the direction as well as most of the writing, it's a hard sell to base an entire romance movie on a main character as unromantic and commitment-phobic as Sonia. Plus, they both have the right to want what they want...but never should have stayed together. In real life, a marriage with folks like this would likely be doomed and is anything but romantic. It naturally makes the movie a bit of a hard-sell as a romance. Folks will enjoy the quirky dialog, situations and characters....but many might be put off because when a film features someone (man or woman) who doesn't want to get married, it just doesn't exactly sound like someone you'd want to see in a romance! So, in some ways the romance isn't very romantic..at least for more traditional and old fashioned romantics like me. But it does some lovely moments and a few laughs. Plus, the film still works reasonably well and when I learned that Gordon was new to writing and directing, I felt amazed! Not a perfect film but a worthwhile film nevertheless...and hopefully the first of many more feature films from her.

Review (with Spoilers)

Noted Actor(s)

Sonia (Cristin Milioti) | Chris (Dan Sofer) | Lara (Rachel York)

Storyline

Marriage just seems like the natural step in any relationship right? You have been together a couple years or months, get along, the sex is good enough to stay with this person, and they make you happy. It sounds dull when you tick them off like a questionnaire but that is the gist, right? But what about other things? Sonia, for example, wants to be like how Lara appears. You know, like that woman of 90s and 80s movies who has everything so put together, probably had a multitude of lovers, and pretty much is a feminist icon. Like, the type whose funeral has millions weeping because of what she meant to them.

Well, maybe that is an exaggeration. Truth is, Sonia just wants something better. Which makes her relationship with Chris difficult at times since he is OK with being OK. So with him proposing comes the thought of whether she could be with a guy like this. Does he meeting multiple boxes on the general, "Things you'd want in a husband" list matter if he as a person isn't as ambitious as you'd like? Well, that is what she has to figure out.

Criticism

Generic Characters

I wonder if actors and the people who finance movies are as bored with middle-class white people as I am. For, I don't know, there just seems to be just too many movies and TV programs on the market which seems to feature the same characters with the same problems. The only difference being if someone isn't some Eurocentric version of attractive or if they are supposed to be seen as some manic pixie girl version of awkward.

Which is the issue with this movie – No one stands out to the point you want to take note of who this actor is or make a vested interest in their character. Everyone seems to have an archetype and doesn't stray too far from it. Be it the sort of hippie chick who fears she is selling out because she has responsibilities now, the posh friend who honestly was such a non-factor in the movie I can't even remember if she does anything, and there lies another problem. No one really gets any real reaction out of you. Everyone is so geared toward being without serious complications or depth that it is like watching a sitcom. One in which, yeah, so and so may have said something messed up, but nothing so messed up a few jokes and sweet moments can't have them back to potentially likable by the end of the episode.

On The Fence

Feels Like a Pilot

Despite the criticism, I must admit this seemed like a TV pilot with the way it laid the foundation for all the characters. For with this movie being about a group of friends dealing with transitioning into their 30s with marriage, houses, and future kids, it felt like we were getting an appetizer vs a whole meal. Assuming that makes sense.

Another way to put it is that a lot of the movie feels segmented like a TV show. Take for example Sonia heading to Rome. What ends up happening is she has what seems like the perfect plot for an episode. One in which she is in awe of Rome's food and architecture, contacts someone familiar and has a comedic and tragic trip altogether. Nothing to call the cops about, perhaps, but definitely a funny story to tell when she gets back home.

Which, to me, is why I can imagine this movie's characters and story working on the silver screen. However, as a movie, it is like some issues only get resolved because the movie needed to end. Then when it came to Sonia's friends, they exist solely because Sonia needs to have friends. I mean, they seem like such an obligation in the movie that it makes you wonder how difficult it must have been for writer/ director Sasha Gordon to write this. For it almost seems like she was forced to put them in to add length to the movie and/or to get actors for additional financing.

Overall: Mixed (Home Viewing)

The main issue with this film is it lacks originality. Be it borrowing from other productions or just seeming too heavily inspired, it has no voice of its own. And while all the actors present likable characters, in this effort for everyone to be likable comes everyone being dull and lifeless. So even when someone is yelling, having a panic attack, or what have you, it all seems forced, scripted and, like this movie in general, what you would expect vs. something which feels genuine and authentic. Which is a shame since there is a part of you, mostly thanks to Milioti, which would like to maybe get to know everyone more. It is just, no one gives you a solid reason for those fleeting feelings.

Cristin Milioti is so quirkily endearing in the lead role that she makes it easy to just go with the airy tale. It's an okay romcom about a woman afraid of not realizing her potential, with the underlying clichéd storyline that regardless of who she thinks she wants to be, her one true happiness is standing right next to her. The film starts with a focus on why a woman should want to define herself independently, instead of through her marriage to a man and ends with the typical romantic notion of "it had to be you" for me to be truly happy. The cast are mostly good, Cristin is great and if you like romantic happy endings, you should enjoy this film.

Looks like so far among other reviewers I'm in the distinct minority here, as I felt this rom-com just didn't work for me on any level, and I felt it was just one mess of a movie. The dialogue came across to me as quite stilted and awkward and the characters just didn't ring true.

Cristin Milioti, whose appearance and demeanor reminded me of Sarah Silverman, portrays Sonia, who's in a long term relationship with Chris, played by Dan Soder. However, when Chris makes another attempt at proposing, Sonia is hesitant to accept, and thus they'll be a severe strain put upon their future together.

First time director and writer Sasha Gordon appears to also make a less than subtle attempt to switch gender roles here. The groom will be crying during the wedding ceremony, two men will be dancing at the reception, they'll be a male midwife, and there's a scene in Rome where Sonia allows a man she just met to shave her nether regions, which I thought was beyond the pale.

To note there were no subtitles on my DVD copy.

All in all, I see this film worked for others, but it definitely was not my cup of tea.

This movie really sucks.. you think it's going to be about a woman realizing she can be awesome without needing a marriage proposal .. but basically she turns down the marriage proposal at the beginning, makes a brief, half-assed attempt at being independent, suffers one setback (some of her stuff gets stolen), completely gives up on trying to be single, and goes back to the US to literally beg her boyfriend to take her back. Her boyfriend has not one single redeeming quality that makes you want her to be with him. He spends the whole movie whining and pressuring her and complaining about everything and making grumpy faces. Basically this is the story of a woman who dreams of being single and adventurous even though all of her friends are married and settled down, but instead she freaks out and runs back to her moody loser boyfriend. Yay?

As usual, I don't understand the reviews on this site. This movie was much much better than the rating listed! Delightfully written, acted and the chemistry between the two leads was so believable. I'm pretty jaded about romance stories, but I was quietly cheering at the end! Must see!

If you thought this film was going end any other way, you are hysterical.

The film is about finding the romantic heroine (or hero) in ourselves. Especially when we don't see ourselves as fitting the bill. Is it a shame that there isn't a character in the film who outright rejects the notion of marriage and is celebrated for it? Maybe.... but that's another film. This film celebrates the Romantic Heroine in whatever form she takes and actively encourages us to notice where we are getting our ideas about who she is from.... But subtly and more entertaining than how I just put it.