Mom (TV Series)

Kitty Litter and a Class A Felony (2015)

Anna Faris: Christy Plunkett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Violet : [walks in on Christy pouring kitty litter into a thermos]  Is that kitty litter?

  Christy : ...Yes.

  Violet : Are we getting a cat?

  Christy : No, you know I'm allergic to cats.

  Violet : So what're you doing?

  Christy : [pause]  We're getting a cat.

• Marjorie : If she doesn't know, then she'll never know.

  Christy : I thought the idea of getting sober was to be rigorously honest.

  Marjorie : Eh, let's say rigor-ish.

• Bonnie : If he was buried I could at least go visit him. He was cremated, I can't visit him.

  Christy : You can visit him in your heart.

  Bonnie : No such place!

• Bonnie : Lorraine may have the money, but I have Alvin.

  [holds up a brown paper bag] 

  Christy : [pause]  And a sandwich?

• Douglas : [Christy is returning Alvin's ashes to his sons]  What's in the urn?

  Christy : Grape Nuts. Now you can replace them with... Toasted Daddy-os.

• Marjorie : Swapping the ashes out worked once, why not again?

  Christy : Good point, but what can I replace them with?

  Marjorie : How about kitty litter?

  Christy : Have I told you I love you?

• Christy : I just have to try and figure a way to get the ashes away from her without her noticing.

  Marjorie : You mean she takes them everywhere with her?

  Christy : This morning, *they* went to the DMV.

• Christy : You can't put Alvin's ashes in Roscoe's thermos.

  Bonnie : Why not? It'll keep him cool... or warm.

• Steve : I haven't been sleeping too well, but that's what weed's for, right?

  Christy : Actually I can't smoke weed, or drink. I'm sober.

  Steve : Oh, wow, so, how's that working for you?

  Christy : Well, it's great, except for when your dad dies, and you feel sad, and you want to take a drink to make you not feel sad, but you can't drink so you're sad, which is just... sad.

  Steve : I'd like to say I know what you mean, but I've been so baked since the funeral I can hardly even see you.

• Christy : [sees Alvin's urn]  I didn't know Alvin wanted to be cremated.

  Lorraine : [smugly]  He didn't.

• Bonnie : [wrapped up on the couch with the thermos watching TV]  Ice Road Truckers!

  Christy : Really?

  Bonnie : Why not? Your dad loves this show.

  Christy : You know he's not really here, right?

  Bonnie : I know, but it gives me comfort.

• Christy : [Bonnie and Marjorie are arguing over a chair at AA]  Mom, it's just a chair.

  Bonnie : IT IS NOT JUST A CHAIR! EVERYTHING I LOVE HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM ME: MY CHILDHOOD, MY HOME, MY DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, AND *NOW* ALVIN.

  [to Marjorie] 

  Bonnie : NOW LISTEN TO ME, OLD LADY, I'VE DRAWN A LINE IN THE SAND AND THAT LINE IS THIS CHAIR, NOW MOOOOOOOOVE!

  [Marjorie slides over to the next chair, Bonnie comes down several notches] 

  Bonnie : Thank you.

  [sits down] 

  Bonnie : Dammit, now I have to pee.

  [stands up and drags the chair behind her]