Bradley Steven Perry: Kaz

Quotes 

• Kaz : Okay, new plan: Adam's on YOUR team.

• Leo Dooley : So aren't you gonna do something to help Chase?

  Kaz : Yeah, um, I just have to give him a urine test.

  Kaz : [to Chase]  Chase... you're in what hospital right now?

  [Chase continues to lie unconscious and dying] 

  Kaz : [to Leo]  He's failed his urine test.

• Leo Dooley : You have no idea what you're doing, do you?

  Kaz : Before I answer that question, uh, do you have any bionic ability to tell when someone's lying?

  Leo Dooley : No.

  Kaz : Then I know exactly what I'm doing.

  Leo Dooley : You're lying!

  Kaz : So you DO have a bionic lie-detecting ability!

  Leo Dooley : No! I'm just not stupid!

• Kaz : It's a brain-switching machine. We also use it to slice deli meat.

  Leo Dooley : You're gonna transfer Chase's brain into yours, cure Chase, then make a sandwich? 'Cause I'm starving.

• [Kaz tries transferring Chase's "smarty bits" to himself] 

  Leo Dooley : Did it work?

  Kaz : The only way to know conclusively would have been if we'd measured my baseline intelligence level BEFORE the transfer; but, based on my use of the phrase "baseline intelligence level," yeah, I'd say it worked.

• Leo Dooley : So now you can cure Chase?

  Kaz : Yes; BUT, more importantly...

  [lifts up a meat platter] 

  Kaz : ...turkey or roast beef?

  Leo Dooley : [appalled]  Dude! Obviously roast beef!

• Leo Dooley : Have you figured out the problem?

  Kaz : Yes. This sandwich needs more mayonnaise.

• Kaz : I have a plan! Chase, jump off the tower.

  Chase Davenport : Do you maybe have a different plan?

• Kaz : Did you ever doubt me?

  Leo Dooley : Yeah, ever since the urine test.

• Kaz : Check it out. I'm a dairy cow.