The 67th Primetime Emmy Awards (2015 TV Special)

Jon Stewart: Self - Winner

Quotes 

• Himself - Winner: Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series and Outstanding Variety Talk Series : Thank you very much. I was told I would not be the one talking tonight, so I did not prepare very much. I'd like to thank, first off, everyone else in the category for making this the strongest, most competitive category, I think, in the entire ceremony. Amazing, fantastic shows. And I'd like to thank, on behalf of the staff, everyone who works at "The Daily Show," worked at "The Daily Show," continues to work at "The Daily Show," for being fantastic and amazing. And our families and all the people we know who are very nice to us all the time. And agents and things like that. And most of all, I'd like to thank Mr. Jon Stewart himself for giving us a place - a place that - a place we could all work and be very proud of what we were doing for a long, long time and where so many of us got the chance to start out at the lowest bottom of the totem pole and rise up to places we could be really excited about and make our parents happy with. So thank you very much.

• Himself - Winner: Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series and Outstanding Variety Talk Series : Thank you. Thank you. Without the music it really feels very judgmental. I gotta tell you. Everybody's staring, going, "It's been 10 seconds. Entertain us." To everybody on television, I just want to tell you cling to it as long as you can. Like death. Like in "The Titanic," the guy who was - cling to it. I have been off of television for six weeks, seven weeks, whatever it is. This is the first applause I've heard. It is a barren wasteland out there where they say hello, whatever, but did you know okay. You have craft services. Okay. Out in the world there are tables with food, but you can't take it. It costs money. Very little of it is gluten-free or vegan. Anyway, these people, I love desperately. I will never work with a group of people like this. I will never have an experience like this again. Comedy Central blessed me with this, and these guys did all the work. And LL Cool J, I think, was referring to me as a new jack, I believe. I was the new jack.

  Himself - Presenter: Outstanding Variety Talk Series : Yeah, you were.

  Himself - Winner: Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series and Outstanding Variety Talk Series : Sounds better out of him. Thank you so very much. You will never have to see me again. Thank you.