- Kermit the Frog: [unable to find something good to give Denise for their anniversary] The only thing I have to give her is a punch card from Cinnabon, and I'm still seven Cinnabons away from a free Bon. That's not a gift! That's a burden!
- Floyd Pepper: [to Dr. Teeth] You think the whole world revolves around you, but it doesn't. It revolves around the moon, and that's why we have winter!
- Miss Piggy: I'd do anything for Kermit. I mean, after all, he is my friend. But don't ask your ex to buy a gift for your girlfriend! That is messed up!
- Kristin Chenoweth: [Kristin travels on the road with the Electric Mayhem] Question about my seat belt: I think it's just a guitar strap connected to nothing.
- Janice: Everything's connected to something if you think about it.
- Kristin Chenoweth: Where's your dad's house?
- Floyd Pepper: Who's asking?
- Kristin Chenoweth: I am.
- Floyd Pepper: That checks out. Well, I wouldn't exactly call my dad's place a house. He dynamited a hole in the desert and drove an old school bus into it.
- Lips: He's just sitting there all day, playing cards with a bunch of stuffed jack-a-rabbits.