- [when the children brutally massacre the people in a cafe]
- Nostalgia Critic: Oh, come on, this is just a Friday night at Denny's.
- Diehl: I ain't got no gas.
- Burt: No, I don't need gas.
- Diehl: We ain't got no diesel fuel, neither.
- Burt: Your telephone, I need to use your phone.
- Diehl: Telephone? I ain't got no telephone.
- Nostalgia Critic: [imitating Diehl] We ain't got no kids and we ain't got no corn, either. In fact, I'm not even here. Who you talking too? I'm just a scarecrow.
- [when the children are chopping at a door with an axe to get to Vicky]
- Nostalgia Critic: Heeeeere's Corny!
- Rachel: Your presence does profane this holy place. He will reckon with you.
- Nostalgia Critic: God, I think we've stumbled across the church of Kim Davis.
- Burt: So, what do you mean "as it was written?"
- [picks up the bible]
- Burt: What, in this? You rewriting the whole thing or just the parts that suit your needs?
- Nostalgia Critic: Yep. Definitely the church of Kim Davis.
- Job: He was pretty smart, my dad.
- Nostalgia Critic: [imitating Job] I was off to my daily beating, I was. On the count of my bow tie and that I talk like a complete tool.
- Job: We weren't the only ones who thought Isaac was weird.
- Nostalgia Critic: Slaughtering a village falls into the weird category? How about...
- [imitating Job]
- Nostalgia Critic: We weren't the only ones who thought Isaac was a buzzkill... In that he'd kill you with a buzz saw if he didn't like the way you looked.
- [after a boy wonders onto the road after getting his throat slit]
- Nostalgia Critic: But luckily, our two main heroes are there to save the day...
- [they accidentally run him over with their car]
- Nostalgia Critic: Well, that could've gone better.
- [after finding a cross made out of corn in a boy's briefcase]
- Burt: Looks like some kind of primitive folk art.
- Vicky: I think it's repulsive.
- Nostalgia Critic: Sheesh, I've seen more tolerance from Bill Mahr on Islam. Did a church sting you as a child or something?
- [after Burt walks into Vicky and a jumpscare sound effect plays]
- Nostalgia Critic: Honey, please, turn your *CHUN* off.
- Nostalgia Critic: So he stops the evil entity from taking that left turn at Albuquerque and lights up the field, destroying the monster. Hmm, now let's see. Stephen King's disappointing climaxes have included a giant spider, alien death rays, self-aware trucks, and chomping Big Foot testicles. How can we possibly get lamer than that?
- [an odd-looking face can be seen briefly in the explosion]
- Nostalgia Critic: ... With Casper, the friendly explosion! I am not even kidding. *That* is what you were supposed to be afraid of the entire time. That... is a whole new level of not giving a fuck. I guess it's supposed to be open to interpretation about what it exactly is, but the only thing I'm interpreting is what it looks like more: Jabba the Hutt's exploding fetus, a pumpkin ice cream achieving orgasm, or The Annoying Orange if he was Crying Cauliflower. Flash the sign guys.
- [text appears on the screen that says "THIS IS A SCARY MOVIE"]
- Nostalgia Critic: This is a scene that really fucking needs it. Wow!