The Magicians (TV Series)
Homecoming (2016)
Jason Ralph: Quentin Coldwater
Photos
Quotes
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Alice Quinn : I was making out with who?
Quentin Coldwater : Uh, nobody.
Alice Quinn : You said I was there making out with someone.
Quentin Coldwater : No. Yes. Not - I mean, not that it's important. It was sort of Julia.
Alice Quinn : Julia. Your lifelong crush.
Quentin Coldwater : Dreams are weird. People are naked, and animals are smoking cigarettes.
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Quentin Coldwater : [In Alice's childhood room] It's like going back in time to 2004.
[Picks up a CD]
Quentin Coldwater : The "Garden State" soundtrack?
Alice Quinn : Hey, that was cool when it came out.
Quentin Coldwater : [Picks up a book] "The Joy of Sex"? Is that, uh, Stephanie?
Alice Quinn : My dad. He meant well. But my mom made him give me the version from the '70s because she thinks that kids should know what pubic hair looks like.
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Alice Quinn : I can't imagine what you must be thinking of me right now.
Quentin Coldwater : It's cool. I'm, like, really into damaged chicks.
Alice Quinn : Like Julia?
Quentin Coldwater : Alice, I don't know what you think Julia and I were, but the truth is that we weren't anything. We were two kids who tested well, got placed together, and I got a crush because that's how hormones work, and she didn't, and I got over it, and the end.
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Alice Quinn : I'm kind of new to this whole thing, if you hadn't guessed. All my past relationships were, like, you know, at a party. "Can we just do this standing up?" kind of thing.
Quentin Coldwater : Well, the fact that you could want to have sex with anyone after living in this house is pretty impressive.
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Joe : It's a beacon. You cast it here, and the fountain for this world lights up there.
Alice Quinn : Okay, so how do we cast it?
Joe : Well, there are some specific requirements, sexually speaking.
Quentin Coldwater : Wait. It's sex magic?
Joe : All magic where I'm from is sex magic. Thought you knew that. I could perform it with you if you'd prefer. I'm a heck of a pinch hitter.
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Quentin Coldwater : Let's find your dragons, and I - oh, hey, look.
[Sees Julia as Princess Leia and Alice as Daenerys making out]
Quentin Coldwater : I respect the shit out of you both, and you are leaders, and you're people, and I'm a feminist-...
Alice Quinn : If you would just shut up for two seconds, this sex dream would pass the Bechdel test, Quentin.
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Alice Quinn : When I was ten, my dad caught my mom having an affair, and he threatened to commit suicide.
Quentin Coldwater : Oh, my God.
Alice Quinn : He said he had to go extreme just to get her attention, which was psychotic, but he wasn't wrong. I think he would have done it if she hadn't come around.
Quentin Coldwater : Well, now I kind of feel like a dick for making fun of your "Garden State" soundtrack.
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Margo Hanson : What do we know about these Neitherlands? I don't remember them from the "Fillory" books.
Quentin Coldwater : There's not much. In "The Wandering Dune", Jane and Rupert meet this talking dromedary named Cameltoes...
Eliot Waugh : No. Seriously? Amazing.
Quentin Coldwater : It was 1943. It wasn't a dirty thing to say back then.