- Rob Norris: Why haven't I cheated on you? Because... Loads of reasons. I mean, the biggest is you have been pregnant so much, so, not fucking some prostitute is the least I can do when you have been carting around our babies in your body.
- Sharon Morris: [laughs] Wha? Why does it have to be a prostitute?
- Rob Norris: Because if you think I'm going to put time, money and effort into maybe getting into some woman's pants, you're crazy. If I ever do cheat on you, it's going to be a cash transaction with a guaranteed ejaculation, after which she immediately leaves so I can ponder suicide because of how guilty I feel.
- Sharon Morris: Aw! That's so sweet.
- Sharon Morris: Let's make our new anniversary the date we first met.
- Rob Norris: Okay. Let's do that.
- Sharon Morris: Which was...?
- Rob Norris: [Long pause] You look so beautiful in the moonlight.
- Sharon Morris: It's the fucking 5th of March asshole.