- Jay Pritchett: Why do we choose partners so different from ourselves? It's not fate or chance or cliches like, "the heart wants what the heart wants". We choose our partners because they represent the unfinished business from our childhood. And we choose them because they manifest the qualities we wish we had. In doing so, in choosing such a challenging partner and working to give them what they need, we chart a course for our own growth.
- Jay Pritchett: That's it! I'm out! What the hell are we doing? Dancing around, telling secrets like girls at a slumber party. I can just imagine my old man with his buddies sitting on their lawn chairs, laughing their asses off that I missed a whole day of football 'cause I'm trying to get in touch with my emotions. These guys didn't do that crap. These were men! His best friend Tommy Ryan lost half a finger in a sheet metal press. Waited until his shift ended to go to the hospital. I broke my collar bone in a football game. There was Dad up in the stands giving me the old, "Be tough." So I played two more downs before I passed out. My date, Mary Jo Klumsky, left the senior dance with another guy. Broke my heart. 2 a.m. at the kitchen table, my old man's telling me, "Eat the sandwich and forget about her." Feelings! I didn't even cry at his funeral. You believe that? The guy was my whole world. Not a tear. Everybody looking at me like... like I didn't love him. But he knew!
- [sniffs, voice cracks]
- Jay Pritchett: He had to know, right?
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: [rushing over to hug Jay] Of course he did.
- Jay Pritchett: Son of a bitch, that felt good getting that out.
- Phil Dunphy: Wow.
- Claire Dunphy: I know. They just won therapy.
- Alex Dunphy: [on the phone] Hey, it's me. I broke up with Reuben. I knew he'd be crushed, so I did it quickly, like ripping off one of his Incredible Hulk band-aids. So how about you? Did you do it?
- [cut to Haley, laying awkwardly in bed next to Andy]
- Haley Dunphy: Yep. I sure did.
- Mitchell Pritchett: [Mitchell discusses with Cameron their plan to keep their personal life from being discussed publicly during Dr Radcliffe's emotional de-junking session] Alright, I've made a game plan here. Let's keep a low profile.
- Cameron Tucker: But aren't we wasting a great opportunity to learn more about me?
- Mitchell Pritchett: We are not going to be the side-show gay couple. Okay, nothing too personal and, for god's sake, no bedroom stuff. We're representing our community.
- Dr. Debra Radcliffe: [Dr Radcliffe approaches] And how are you two doing here?
- Cameron Tucker: Very healthy.
- Cameron Tucker: Very happy.
- Dr. Debra Radcliffe: Cam, would you like to switch positions?
- Cameron Tucker: I'm not allowed to talk about that.