- BoJack Horseman: Cuddlywhiskers, let's give ourselves one night to stick our dicks in this script and go balls deep into the universe.
- BoJack Horseman: [the sun rises when they finish the script] Wow, we did it. We stayed up all night, but we really made something new and different and daring. We've changed everything but the title.
- Cuddlywhiskers: Well, then, how about we give it a new title? "The BoJack Horseman Show."
- BoJack Horseman: [gasps] Oh, Cuddlywhiskers, I don't know what to say.
- Cuddlywhiskers: Well, then why don't you just say, "Whassup, bitches?" But, you know, not that. Something like that.
- BoJack Horseman: We'll figure it out.
- Ending song: Back in '07, I was in a not-successful TV show. / I'm BoJack the Horseman / Goddamn! / What the hell was I thinkin', bro? / When you're an artist, / Yeah, it's hard to play it safe. / That show stumbled hard / Right out the starting gate. / Wonder if I'm ever / Gonna get another chance. / Maybe a listicle at best. / Yeah, I'm not a horse, I'm an ass! / BoJack!
- BoJack Horseman: I want this character to be really edgy. Like the kind of character Denis Leary would be offered and then say, "No way. This character's too edgy for me."
- BoJack Horseman: [writing script for new TV show, while heavily intoxicated] How do we make it clear that this isn't "Horsin' Around"? What if in the very first scene, we show my character literally taking a massive dump on a VHS copy of "Horsin' Around"?
- Cuddlywhiskers: What? That's insane. Let's just put it in, we can always take it out later.
- BoJack Horseman: I want this character to be really edgy. Like the kind of character Denis Leary would be offered and then say, "No way. This character's too edgy for me."
- Cuddlywhiskers: What if he had a catchphrase that was an anti-catchphrase?
- BoJack Horseman: Yeah, like if every time he enter the room he was like, "Whassup, bitches?"
- [Cuddlywhiskers laughs hysterically]
- BoJack Horseman: Not that, because that's horrible. But, you know, something like that.
- Cuddlywhiskers: "Whassup, bitches?"
- BoJack Horseman: That is so dumb.
- Cuddlywhiskers: But also kind of brilliant, right?
- BoJack Horseman: Yes, put that in. Put all this in. This should be the show.
- Cuddlywhiskers: This... should... be... the... show. I haven't felt this alive since the head of the Charles Regatta. That's a Harvard thing.
- BoJack Horseman: Yes, yes, yes. This is brilliant.
- Cuddlywhiskers: What if we had five minutes of him reading a book to himself?
- BoJack Horseman: Oh, my God, yes! Just him turning the page. A close-up of my eyeball. The real shit, they never show that.
- [the sun rises when they finish]
- BoJack Horseman: Wow, we did it. We stayed up all night, but we really made something new and different and daring. We've changed everything but the title.
- Cuddlywhiskers: Well, then, how about we give it a new title? "The BoJack Horseman Show."
- BoJack Horseman: [gasps] Oh, Cuddlywhiskers, I don't know what to say.
- Cuddlywhiskers: Well, then why don't you just say, "Whassup, bitches?" But, you know, not that. Something like that.
- BoJack Horseman: We'll figure it out.
- BoJack Horseman: [writing script for new TV show, while heavily intoxicated] How do we make it clear that this isn't "Horsin' Around"? What if in the very first scene, we show my character literally taking a massive dump on a VHS copy of "Horsin' Around"?
- Cuddlywhiskers: What? That's insane. Let's just put it in, we can always take it out later.
- BoJack Horseman: I want this character to be really edgy. Like the kind of character Denis Leary would be offered and then say, "No way. This character's too edgy for me."
- Cuddlywhiskers: What if he had a catchphrase that was an anti-catchphrase?
- BoJack Horseman: Yeah, like if every time he enter the room he was like, "Whassup, bitches?"
- [Cuddlywhiskers laughs hysterically]
- BoJack Horseman: Not that, because that's horrible. But, you know, something like that.
- Cuddlywhiskers: "Whassup, bitches?"
- BoJack Horseman: That is so dumb.
- Cuddlywhiskers: But also kind of brilliant, right?