- Cat: [the trio are conversing about Kryten having a mid-life crisis] What even is a mid-life crisis? I don't think us cats ever get them.
- Rimmer: It's usually a point where people who are halfway through life are forced to confront their own mortality.
- Lister: Put it this way: Have you felt "I've wasted my life"?
- Cat: You? Sure. Every single day.
- Lister: No, have you ever felt you've wasted your life?
- Cat: No!
- Lister: Have you ever felt "There's such much more I could've been?"
- Cat: No!
- Lister: Have you ever felt "If I went back in time and I had my time again, I'd..." forget it.
- Lister: I had a mid-life crisis once.
- Kryten: You never said, sir.
- Lister: Yeah, it was about three years ago. I had all the symptoms. First, I denied it, then I got angry, started thinking about missed opportunities, then I got depressed, then finally I accepted it.
- Kryten: How long did this last, sir?
- Lister: About five minutes.