- Erlich Bachman: [With regards to Jared dating a girl] Jared, with regards to the... you need a plus one?
- Donald 'Jared' Dunn: Oh, no thank you. I think it's too early for that.
- Erlich Bachman: Good idea. Don't bring sand to the beach, there's already pussy there.
- Erlich Bachman: Get ready. In T-minus five minutes, Big Head and I are going to take that stage and I am going to ejaculate my success all over the faces and hair of my fiercest rivals. Like some sort of vengeful viscous web of payback.