Toast of London (TV Series)
Bob a Job (2015)
Matt Berry: Steven Toast
Photos
Quotes
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Bob Monkhouse : Anyway, meet the organising committee before we go down to the theatre.
Dennis Fog : Hello, Dennis Fog.
Steven Toast : Dense Fog?
Dennis Fog : No, Dennis Fog.
Steven Toast : Sorry, nice to meet you.
Derek Bildings : Hello, Derek Bildings.
Steven Toast : Derelict Buildings?
Derek Bildings : No, Derek Bildings.
Steven Toast : Sorry, nice to meet you.
Shane Fulorgy : Hello, Shane Fulorgy.
Steven Toast : Shameful Orgy?
Shane Fulorgy : Shane Fulorgy.
Steven Toast : Sorry, nice to meet you.
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Steven Toast : Are you fucking deaf?
[pause]
Steven Toast : I said, are you fucking deaf? If you are, then you may be thinking of investing in a digital hearing aid. Audio Clear Hearing Aids are discreet and... is this for real?
Danny Bear : What's up, Steven?
Steven Toast : Well, there's swearing in this advert. All kinds of effing and jeffing. Are you really allowed to broadcast this on the radio? I mean, even Channel 4 doesn't have swearing in their adverts.
Danny Bear : Anything goes, these days.
Clem Fandango : It's the 21st Century, my friend.
Steven Toast : Oh, God, yeah. No taboos left anywhere anymore. OK, let's crack on.
Danny Bear : Actually, I've got to go, so I'll see you next week, Steven, yeah?
[kisses Clem repetitive times before leaving]
Steven Toast : [Toast whispers] What the blazes is this ritual?
[Danny keeps kissing Clem, mimics gunshot and leaves]
Steven Toast : Where's that clown off to?
Clem Fandango : He went to see his therapist.
Steven Toast : His therapist?
[laughs]
Steven Toast : That doesn't surprise me.
Clem Fandango : Danny's considering a sex change operation.
Steven Toast : A sex change operation?
Clem Fandango : Yeah. It's mostly because he thinks his clothes will suit him better if he's a woman.
[Toast laughs]
Clem Fandango : It's just something he's been mulling over for a while.
[Toast snorts]
Clem Fandango : He's talking to his therapist about it.
Danny Bear : Well, I've heard everything! Sex change operations, swearing in adverts. These really are the last days of Sodom!
Clem Fandango : Want to try that line again there, Steven?
Steven Toast : Yeah.
[starts recording]
Steven Toast : Audio Clear Hearing Aids are discreet and fit snuggly into the ear. Check out our website today for details.
[stops recording]
Steven Toast : How the fuck was that?