- Bob Monkhouse: Anyway, meet the organising committee before we go down to the theatre.
- Dennis Fog: Hello, Dennis Fog.
- Steven Toast: Dense Fog?
- Dennis Fog: No, Dennis Fog.
- Steven Toast: Sorry, nice to meet you.
- Derek Bildings: Hello, Derek Bildings.
- Steven Toast: Derelict Buildings?
- Derek Bildings: No, Derek Bildings.
- Steven Toast: Sorry, nice to meet you.
- Shane Fulorgy: Hello, Shane Fulorgy.
- Steven Toast: Shameful Orgy?
- Shane Fulorgy: Shane Fulorgy.
- Steven Toast: Sorry, nice to meet you.
- Steven Toast: Are you fucking deaf?
- [pause]
- Steven Toast: I said, are you fucking deaf? If you are, then you may be thinking of investing in a digital hearing aid. Audio Clear Hearing Aids are discreet and... is this for real?
- Danny Bear: What's up, Steven?
- Steven Toast: Well, there's swearing in this advert. All kinds of effing and jeffing. Are you really allowed to broadcast this on the radio? I mean, even Channel 4 doesn't have swearing in their adverts.
- Danny Bear: Anything goes, these days.
- Clem Fandango: It's the 21st Century, my friend.
- Steven Toast: Oh, God, yeah. No taboos left anywhere anymore. OK, let's crack on.
- Danny Bear: Actually, I've got to go, so I'll see you next week, Steven, yeah?
- [kisses Clem repetitive times before leaving]
- Steven Toast: [Toast whispers] What the blazes is this ritual?
- [Danny keeps kissing Clem, mimics gunshot and leaves]
- Steven Toast: Where's that clown off to?
- Clem Fandango: He went to see his therapist.
- Steven Toast: His therapist?
- [laughs]
- Steven Toast: That doesn't surprise me.
- Clem Fandango: Danny's considering a sex change operation.
- Steven Toast: A sex change operation?
- Clem Fandango: Yeah. It's mostly because he thinks his clothes will suit him better if he's a woman.
- [Toast laughs]
- Clem Fandango: It's just something he's been mulling over for a while.
- [Toast snorts]
- Clem Fandango: He's talking to his therapist about it.
- Danny Bear: Well, I've heard everything! Sex change operations, swearing in adverts. These really are the last days of Sodom!
- Clem Fandango: Want to try that line again there, Steven?
- Steven Toast: Yeah.
- [starts recording]
- Steven Toast: Audio Clear Hearing Aids are discreet and fit snuggly into the ear. Check out our website today for details.
- [stops recording]
- Steven Toast: How the fuck was that?