- [Clive hopes for Liv's help with the three headless victims]
- Clive Babineaux: Hoping you can work your magic, Liv, help ID these guys.
- Olivia Moore: Uh...
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Looks like a no-brainer to me, Liv.
- [Peyton and Ravi share a drink together when she tells him about her college days]
- Peyton Charles: When I was in college, I had this professor, and when he'd hand out the Friday quiz, he'd say, 'Duck soup for you, Sweetheart.' I think he thought it was easier for me than everyone else. But I was probably working twice as hard.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Yeah, before you moved in, I just thought you were a fembot that plugged into a charging station at night.
- [Ravi gets too tipsy to stay up with Peyton at night]
- Peyton Charles: No, no. Don't go.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: I must. I know how this turns out. It's like the shots contest in Raiders of the Lost Ark. You're Karen Allen, and I'm the fat Nepalese guy that ends up under the table.
- [Ravi walks with Liv to a crime scene while hungover from his night with Peyton]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: The violent soundscape of nature is making my ears bleed. Birds chirping, leaves rustling, gnats laying eggs.
- Olivia Moore: Never start a land war in Asia. Don't go toe-to-toe with Peyton Charles when drinking is involved.
- [Ravi tries to beg for Peyton to stay with him and Major]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Stay here. You know, you'll have two men living with you, one's practically a Greek God, who's turned his body into a finely-tuned weapon, and, of course, Major. And either of us would do anything for you.
- Peyton Charles: My new place has a 24-hour doorman and a hot tub.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: The Major will serve as our doorman. All right? He's great with doors. The opening. The closing. And I will make sure your tub time's hot as hell.
- [Peyton arrives at Ravi's house for a sleepover]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [when Peyton apologizes] Don't be sorry, we love having you here. Although, you do have a habit of picking the marshmallows out of my cereal, leaving me with a less-than-ideal ratio of marshmallow to crunchy bits, but, you know, I'll let that slide...
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [when Ravi sees that Peyton's been crying] Oh, no, Peyton. What is it?
- Peyton Charles: I screwed up at work.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Can I do anything? I mean, because if you want me to pick every last marshmallow bear out of that box for you... I'll do it.
- [Ravi gives Liv the brain of an innocent victim who died]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi talks like a game show host] Olivia Moore! Let's see what's inside drawer number one. Today we're sending you home with Madison Brenneck.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi opens one of the morgue doors] 25 years old. The victim of an ill-fated rendezvous with a Seattle cross-town. Bus driver said she never even looked up from her phone. She's only in our morgue because she was killed on city property. So, Madison comes complete with wonderfully unremarkable, non-murdery visions.
- Olivia Moore: All the great taste, none of the foul play.
- [Ravi tells social-media-brain Liv to be careful on social media]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: You need to be careful not to overshare on social media. Anything zombie-related is TMI.
- Olivia Moore: Don't worry. I'm on my chill hustle hundo-p.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: My annoying millennial speak knowledge ended with TMI, so I have no idea what you just said.
- [Liv and Clive interrogate the CI Tanner about a new player in town]
- Olivia Moore: [Liv takes a photo of Tanner when he doesn't cooperate] What's your Twitter handle, Tanner? Hashtag 'real CI's of Seattle,' hashtag 'riding the U-boat.'
- Tanner: Sally Tiny Tears is freaking me out, man. I can't have people thinking I'm tight with cops.
- [Drake's mother tries to tell Liv that she can give her a makeover]
- Drake Holloway: I took a couple of cosmetology classes at the community college. I could give you a little makeover!
- Drake Holloway: She's beautiful, Ma!
- Drake's Mother: Yeah, so is the sun, but you can't stare directly at it.
- [Liv sees Ravi hungover again from drinking late with Peyton]
- Olivia Moore: Is your breakfast not using its indoor voice?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi stares into his Rice Krispies cereal bowl] Snap, crackle, pop. So loud.
- Olivia Moore: Drinking on a school night again with Peyton. You're a disgrace to your country's proud history of functional lushes.
- [Liv meets the zombie district attorney Floyd Baracus]
- Floyd Baracus: How did you know? About me. What I am.
- Olivia Moore: You have forty varieties of hot sauce and three heads in the fridge.
- [Peyton and Ravi drink one last night together and talk about zombies]
- Peyton Charles: Look, I know one thing. If I ever was turned into a zombie, my first order of business would be to scratch you. I'd be like, 'Oh, man! I'm a zombie.' Scratch!
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Seems a little self-serving, but okay.
- Peyton Charles: No way am I doing this whole zombie thing without you.
- [Ravi wakes up hungover one last time from drinking late with Peyton]
- Olivia Moore: [Liv over the phone] Like I told you, when you're playing drinking games with Peyton, all you'll walk away with is a 'thanks for participating' ribbon.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: A tiny man with a jackhammer has taken up residence in my skull.
- [Peyton and Ravi hug each other goodbye]
- Peyton Charles: You're the best.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: You know, for the record, I'd be very sad to see you go. My liver, on the other hand, is like, 'Good riddance.'
- [Ravi and Liv walk to a crime scene in the early morning while Ravi is hung over]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Why are we sprinting?
- Olivia Moore: Because I'm hungry. I haven't eaten anything lately.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: I was afraid that horny-librarian-brain would lead to poor life choices.
- [Blaine is reacquainted with Mr. Boss and tells him why he never returned to Mr. Boss's business]
- Blaine DeBeers: I saw things at that boat party. Things that still haunt me. I spent a couple weeks shivering in a dark room, and I decided it was a sign that I needed a change.
- Stacey Boss: A sign, huh? You think God was so desperate for you to change your ways that he slaughtered all those innocent people to make a point?
- Blaine DeBeers: Well, we're talking about the same guy that thought Noah's Ark was a solid plan
- [first lines]
- Drake Holloway: [Liv walks into her bedroom, seeing Drake in bed] Everything okay?
- Olivia Moore: Yeah. Just helping a friend. Sorry I took so long.
- Drake Holloway: Don't be sorry. Watching you crawl back into bed is not a bad thing.
- [Peyton and Ravi drink together as Ravi compliments her]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: I don't know what happened at work, but I promise, the only opinion you need to worry about is your own.
- Peyton Charles: It's a pretty low opinion right now.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Well, it shouldn't be. You are formidable. I mean, you're clever and disciplined.
- Peyton Charles: Hardly.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Those are just the top tier qualities. All right? You're also clearly blessed with a hollow leg.
- [Ravi catches Liv posting a picture of Madison Brenneck's brain on Instagram]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi clears his throat] Did you post a picture of what I assume is Madison Brenneck wrapped in sushi rice on your Instagram account? Hashtag 'brain food'?
- Olivia Moore: 'Course I grammed it, that fish was on fleek. Oh, my God. Why did I post that?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Why does anyone post pictures of food? I think it's okay. It just looks like raw tuna.
- [Ravi tells social-media-brain Liv that he did some research on Madison Brenneck]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: It turns out our Madison was quite the millennial social media maven. Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr. She had over 600 Yelp reviews. The day she died, she tweeted 27 times.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [when Ravi notices Liv not paying attention by tweeting] Liv. Liv.
- Olivia Moore: 'Devoured tuna roll.' Hashtag 'Sushi obsessed.' Hashtag 'Covering my ass.'
- [Ravi receives a text from social-media-brain Liv]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: 'The struggle is real. Props for the good looks. Boom.'
- [Peyton tells Blaine off after finding out his true identity]
- Peyton Charles: For the record, all you are to me is a giant mistake.
- [Peyton reveals to Blaine that Liv is her friend]
- Peyton Charles: [Liv stands at Peyton's side] Blaine thinks he and I could have something special.
- Olivia Moore: Aww, he swiped right. I'm sure that your Tinder photo is hair-centric and flattering, but how do you spin that bio? 'I'm a humble guy, always down for a hike, or we could just murder and chill.' 'My fave slays are astronauts, homeless teens and boyfriend.'
- [Peyton sees Liv tweet a selfie photo of them both that she just took]
- Peyton Charles: Did you just tweet that photo of us? Hashtag 'friendship goals.' Hashtag 'booty had me like what'?
- Olivia Moore: [Liv with a smile on her face] Not cool?
- Peyton Charles: Uh, little weird.
- [Liv and Clive pay Mr. Boss a visit at his place of business]
- Stacey Boss: Can I offer you a Vatrushka? Come on. You've got a second shot at life. Indulge.
- Olivia Moore: I'm good.
- Stacey Boss: Well, there's your problem.
- [Liv sees that Drake doesn't have a Facebook when she asks for Clive's advice]
- Olivia Moore: What does it mean if the guy you're dating isn't on Facebook?
- Clive Babineaux: I don't use Facebook. So, nothing?
- Olivia Moore: Hmm.
- Clive Babineaux: Or maybe he's married with a bunch of kids.
- [the CI Tanner sees Liv at the police precinct]
- Tanner: You look just like this doll my little sister used to have.
- [Ravi watches a video of social-media-brain Liv unpack a MorgueTech box]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: A hundred and fifty-three people watched you unpack a box. How? Why? Please tell me you're not watching your own vlog.
- [Ravi asks Liv why she's on the Seattle PD database]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: What are you doing on the Seattle PD database?
- Olivia Moore: Looking for background info on Drake. I feel like he might be hiding something. What kind of person doesn't use Twitter or Facebook?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Only a lunatic. How else would he disseminate inspirational quotes and latte art?
- [Liv asks what to do when Drake calls her]
- Olivia Moore: [Drake calls] It's him. What do I do?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Well, he's a zombie with anger issues and a prison record. As far as millennial break up options go, ghosting him gets my vote.
- [Clive hands Agent Bozzio a muffin while her head's flat on her desk]
- Clive Babineaux: You should eat.
- Clive Babineaux: [Bozzio turns her head while looking exhausted] And sleep.
- [Bozzio scoffs]
- [Vaughn Du Clark reads out a tweet from Twitter]
- Vaughn Du Clark: 'Vaughn Douche Clark.' So original.
- [Vaughn Du Clark reads out a tweet from Twitter to Major]
- Vaughn Du Clark: 'Max Rager tastes like the ass of a turtle swimming in a dirty river.'
- Gilda: I don't know why he does this to himself.
- Vaughn Du Clark: Thank you, Sambulo21, from Swaziland. Boy, I just love this guy's comprehensive knowledge of how turtle ass tastes.
- [Vaughn Du Clark tells Major he'll be so upset if he's not telling him the truth]
- Vaughn Du Clark: I'm going to be so upset if you're not telling me the truth. And I don't get mad, Major.
- Major Lilywhite: You get even?
- Vaughn Du Clark: Oh, God, no. No, no, no. Where's the fun there? No. I get even with interest. I embrace the Chicago way.
- [Ravi sees social-media-brain Liv write a mean food review]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: 'Real talk? Your sandwich artist was chugging some serious haterade today. No eye contact? Am I a leper? Also, where's the main-from-scratch sriracha? The artisanal pickles?' One star. A bit harsh for Bernie's Sub Shack, don't you think? We eat there once a week.
- Olivia Moore: [Liv keeps typing] Hashtag 'Sorry, not sorry.'
- [Drake shows up at the morgue to talk to Liv]
- Drake Holloway: Haven't heard from you. What happened? Sex-starved-librarian brain wear off and you lost interest?
- Olivia Moore: Oh, no, I've just had a crazy day at work, lots of murders.
- Drake Holloway: [Drake pulls out his phone] Yet you, uh, had time to tweet 17 times today. 'Pumpkin spice latte, yay!' 'Stop lights, boo!' 'Wow, Seattle, cloudy much?'
- [Drake tells Liv about where he got the scar above his right eye]
- Drake Holloway: My dad split, my mom had a string of loser boyfriends. The worst was this mean drunk named Frank. So, I'm 19. I come home and my mom's eye is swollen shut. Blood down the front of her shirt. Frank's just sitting in front of the TV with his hands in his shorts, calling out for another beer like nothing happened. And I just snapped. Went after him. He pulled a knife, that's how I got this. The prosecutor said I went a bit overboard, because Frank still can't walk. Or feed himself.
- Olivia Moore: I'm glad you told me.
- Drake Holloway: Well, I usually wait until date five or six to spring the whole ex-con thing on a girl.
- [Drake tells Liv his mom's kitchen sink is leaking and it's an emergency]
- Drake Holloway: [Drake receives a phone text] I am so sorry, can we reschedule? My mom's kitchen sink is leaking. Which I know doesn't sound like an emergency, but if I don't handle it, she'll call 911.
- Olivia Moore: Buzzfeed teaches us that when a man abruptly changes his plans, he's up to no good.
- [Liv meets Drake's mother as Drake works on her sink]
- Drake's Mother: She's got the coloring of a paper towel, but I'm not supposed to say anything.
- Drake Holloway: [Drake scoffs] I'm sorry. She tends to say the first thing that pops into her head.
- [Drake's mother takes a picture of Drake and Liv standing together]
- Drake's Mother: Okay, press your tongues to the roof of your mouths. You know, we don't want any waddles. And smile!
- Olivia Moore: [Drake's mother snaps the off-centered picture] If you post that, you have to tag me in it.
- Drake's Mother: [Drake's mother smiles] I don't know what that means, honey.
- [Clive questions the Marina Owner]
- Marina Owner: [the Marina Owner yells to his son who's on his phone] Kids and their phones. You'll understand what I mean some day.
- Clive Babineaux: [as Clive turns to to see Liv taking a selfie of herself] No, I think I get it now.
- [Clive tells Liv he thinks her phone is giving her third eye cataracts]
- Clive Babineaux: No visions? I think the radiation from your cell phone is giving you third eye cataracts.
- Olivia Moore: Don't hate 'cause you can't relate.
- [Blaine sings to himself while sitting in his funeral hearse]
- Blaine DeBeers: [Blaine bangs on the steering wheel] Nice girls not one with the defect / Cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct.
- [Vaughn Du Clark turns on his television for Major to see what happened to the Trickster27 troll]
- Vaughn Du Clark: Looks like he's had something of a bad day. Yeah, that's Thai for 'pool of his own blood.' Yeah, I don't think he's going to be thumbing through any of those magazine subscriptions.
- Gilda: [Gilda looks at Major] Wonder if he had any adorable rugrats.
- [Vaughn Du Clark tells Major that Max Rager is a global brand]
- Vaughn Du Clark: Max Rager is a global brand, Major. We are everywhere. Like Starbucks. Or the Eye of Sauron.
- [Peyton tells Ravi that she tried quitting her job]
- Peyton Charles: Man, you work up the nerve to resign and your boss gets abducted.
- [last lines]
- Olivia Moore: [Liv has a vision of Don E. selling Blaine's drugs] Blaine is the new player.
- [the CI Tanner tells Clive about the Lucky U he's selling for a new mystery man]
- Tanner: Okay, yeah, there's a new player. A mystery man with a new product. Lucky U. It's the sickest Utopium out there. Totally uncut, insane high. And cheap. The bunk I'm slinging's got more steps than Helen Keller in a corn maze.
- Clive Babineaux: Tell me more about this mystery man.
- Tanner: It's like you don't know what the word mystery means.
- [Vaughn Du Clark decides to send a hateful Twitter follower magazine subscriptions and asks for Janko's suggestions]
- Vaughn Du Clark: Hey, why don't we send him some really embarrassing magazine subscriptions, huh?
- Janko: 'Chub Hub.' Or 'Bathhouse Monthly.'
- Vaughn Du Clark: Or, wait. What's that really freaky one you like?
- Janko: 'Slow Torture and Gardens'?