- Dr. Joan Watson: Smells like something died in here.
- Sherlock Holmes: You could hardly expect elephant dung to smell like potpourri. It is, in fact, highly sought after coffee produced by feeding arabica beans to pachyderms in Northern Thailand, and it has the potential to further reduce my need for sleep.
- [offers a full mug to Joan]
- Dr. Joan Watson: No thanks. I had poop for lunch.
- Sherlock Holmes: Sorry I missed your arrest and booking, but I've been coordinating the effort to identify you. To my great surprise, your fingerprints weren't in AFIS.
- Cassie: Of course they aren't. I've never committed any crimes.
- Sherlock Holmes: You've never been caught.
- Cassie: Is there a difference?
- Cassie: I hope you come to my trial. Should be fun.
- Sherlock Holmes: Think you can lie your way out?
- Cassie: I do. Now tell me... am I lying?
- Sherlock Holmes: [to Cassie] You are one of the best liars I have ever met, and that's saying something.
- Henry Watson: So how did you know that that was me?
- Dr. Joan Watson: Grover Odgen? We lived on Odgnen Avenue; Grover was our dog. And, by the way, that is how you make a porn name, not a pen name!