- Mel Davies: See you, cop
- [runs away]
- Jay Lee: Hello criminal
- [holds a gun to stop Mel who ran into him]
- Denny Padilla: Man, you need to work on your "got you"-lines
- [starts handcuffing Mel]
- Jay Lee: What are you talking about? That was classic
- Mel Davies: Uh, that was pretty weak
- Denny Padilla: You see that?
- Jay Lee: Oh, shut up, man
- Denny Padilla: [Browsing through a dumpster] All right, listen, this is the last time we use rock, paper, scissors to depute up duties
- Al Burns: You're right. Next time I just order you to do it
- Denny Padilla: Ah, yeah, rock, paper, scissors is just fine, you know
- Al Burns: The way I thought too
- Delina Michaels: Time of death: definitely within the last 72 hours
- Jay Lee: Last 72 hours? Are you sure about that?
- Delina Michaels: Of course I'm sure! Are we having our first fight, Jay?
- Jay Lee: No! No... eh, no
- Carrie Wells: [Entering a construction site, all workers whistle to her] Thank you, gentlemen
- Al Burns: That was surprisingly gracious of you
- Carrie Wells: What, you know, if I gave every construction worker in New York City that wolves at me a hard time, well there be no construction getting done, now would there?
- Al Burns: New York thanks you
- Denny Padilla: [Walking to a suspect's house] Oh, oh, oh, hey, hey, come on man. I'm doing the knocking notice this time
- Jay Lee: Uh, no, because you knocked the last time and the time before that, so...
- Denny Padilla: Yes! Because a few weeks ago, you got to kick in a door. Okay, kicking in a door is worth like seven knocks. It's a solid six
- Jay Lee: That's... that's true. Nah, you're right. Yeah, okay, go ahead
- Jay Lee: [In the office] Well, let's find out. Hope you don't have any plans for dinner tonight
- Denny Padilla: Well, not anymore, no
- Jay Lee: Pizza?
- Denny Padilla: Jay, we had pizza last night
- Jay Lee: Pizza is great every night, bro
- Denny Padilla: [Walks to the captain's office and knocks] Hey boss, you want to see me?
- Captain Sandra Russo: I do. Are you familiar with major crimes policy 34.5b?
- Denny Padilla: Eh, it's on the tip of my tongue, boss
- Captain Sandra Russo: There is no major crimes policy 34.5b. However there is a policy about billing 4 pizzas:
- [picks up the bill]
- Captain Sandra Russo: 2 pepperoni, 1 sausage, 1 anchovies to major crimes
- Denny Padilla: Boss, I...
- Captain Sandra Russo: and you decided just to force my signature to authorize the expenses. You nailed the R, but S's are no good! You got to try harder the next time
- Jay Lee: Denny, you got to trust me! Carrie and Al have a plan
- Denny Padilla: What is their plan?
- Jay Lee: They're going and get a sandwich