A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV Series)
The Bad Beginning: Part One (2017)
Neil Patrick Harris: Count Olaf
Photos
Quotes
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Violet Baudelaire : Klaus, what was that thing James Brown said?
Count Olaf : "I feel good!"
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Count Olaf : Well, I hope I can prove myself to be the father you never had.
Violet Baudelaire : We had a father.
Count Olaf : Yes, I know. And a mother. Remarkable woman. Flammable. So, Poe, do I need to sign for them or something?
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Justice Strauss : I don't mean to seem like a lonely woman who's over-invested in the lives of someone else's children.
Count Olaf : You do have that aura.
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Count Olaf : I remember when I was your age.
Klaus Baudelaire : But we are all different ages?
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Count Olaf : The stove is a bit like a servant - you have to whack it sometimes to get it to work.
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Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender : Money is really a corrupting influence.
Count Olaf : Well, let's not get carried away.
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Count Olaf : [to Justice Strauss] Is this about the children? I apologize for the noise. I told them to cry using their inside voices.
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Count Olaf : Do you have children, Justice Strauss?
Justice Strauss : Me? Oh, no. No. No, I always hoped I would, but I'm married to the law, and you can't very well have book babies now, can you?
Count Olaf : Well, you dodged a bullet. Let me tell you, those children are monsters. I open my home to them, and all they do is complain. "The bathroom is filthy. The rat is noisy. The bed is cramped."
[lowering his voice]
Count Olaf : I think living in a mansion has spoiled them.
Justice Strauss : Well, they did just lose their... Did you say "bed?"
Count Olaf : I meant bed as in more than one bed, obviously. The plural of bed is bed.
Justice Strauss : Well, I wouldn't know. I live alone.
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Count Olaf : The stove is a bit like a servant. You have to whack it sometimes to get it to work.
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Count Olaf : Please, come in, and mind you wipe your feet on the mat so you don't track in any mud. And don't forget your enormous fortune!
