- Quentin Coldwater: Wait, all these questions are from the '90s.
- Knight of Crowns: It - it's not the 1990s on Earth right now?
- Quentin Coldwater: No, it - it's 2017. Oh, and it's, uh, "Wings", the - the Tim Daly show. "Wings".
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Of course you know that.
- Eliot Waugh: Okay, '90s.
- [Turns to the Knight]
- Eliot Waugh: Ask me something about Patrick Swayze.
- Knight of Crowns: [In awe] You know of Swayze?
- Eliot Waugh: You know, it's considered extremely disrespectful to touch a king without permission.
- Quentin Coldwater: Oh
- [Moves away]
- Eliot Waugh: But, um, I think you should probably hug me right now.
- Quentin Coldwater: It's just where I come from there's a legend about a witch with a cottage made of candy.
- Kitchen Witch: Well, the cottage is mostly wood, and I'm more of a healer and gardening enthusiast.
- Eliot Waugh: There are four kings and queens?
- Quentin Coldwater: Yeah, you get to pick the other three.
- [Looks hopeful]
- Quentin Coldwater: Do I get to be a king?
- Eliot Waugh: Unless you want me to pick Penny.
- Quentin Coldwater: So, destiny is - it's bullshit. But you are High King in your blood. And somehow that makes sense, you know? And I-I just - for what it's worth, I think that you are going to be a really good king.
- [pause]
- Quentin Coldwater: Um, so, um, I-I dub thee, um, I don't know. Would you say, like, you're more brave or merciful?
- Eliot Waugh: I'd say I'm neither. But I still plan to be a spectacular monarch.
- Quentin Coldwater: I hereby dub thee High King Eliot the Spectacular.
- Eliot Waugh: By the power vested in me by... I have no idea, I do hereby crown you High Queen Margo the Destroyer.
- [Looks at the group]
- Eliot Waugh: I mean that in the best possible sense.
- Margo Hanson: [Crowning Quentin] Uh, I could start by saying something cruel yet totally hilarious about you. Let's be real, you're an easy target. But that's - well, that's because you're honest about what you love. And underneath it all, that's inspiring. And I'm sorry too. Not about the sex, I don't even really remember it. Mostly my part in fucking up something that was good for you.
- Quentin Coldwater: Thanks, I think I fucked it up just fine myself.
- Margo Hanson: Now that we're ruling a kingdom together, I hope we can be whatever we were again.
- Quentin Coldwater: I guess you could call that friends.
- Margo Hanson: Let's go with that. I hereby crown you King Quentin the Moderately Socially Maladjusted.
- Quentin Coldwater: We need a new plan.
- Margo Hanson: What plan? The Beast is gone. Our squad is a joke. What plan, exactly?
- Eliot Waugh: We'll figure it out. We always do.
- Margo Hanson: When it's a final to cheat on, not when we're stuck in some epic fantasy that likes to behead its heroes halfway through season one.
- [pause]
- Margo Hanson: If we even are heroes. We might be comic relief.
- Knight of Crowns: As you know, only a Child Of Earth can wear the crown of the High King. I will ask you a series of questions designed to root out all pretenders to the throne. Only a true High King will hold the answers in his heart.
- Eliot Waugh: Come at me.
- Knight of Crowns: [Dramatic pause] ... What popular American television program stars actor Tim Daly?
- Eliot Waugh: What the fuck?
- Alice Quinn: He was in a lot of TV shows.
- Knight of Crowns: There is only one correct answer.
- Eliot Waugh: Okay. Give me the next question.
- Knight of Crowns: This hit single is performed by offspring of famous entertainers.
- Margo Hanson: Dude, that is crazy vague.
- Quentin Coldwater: Can I have my blood back, please?
- [Witch chuckles]
- Quentin Coldwater: Look, my friends, they're fine. I don't need your-...
- Kitchen Witch: No. I took an hour out of my night. You're in Fillory, Magician. Be careful with strangers. We only look whimsical.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: My hands are in a fucking box, so Chatwin's Torrent?
- Eliot Waugh: I know that one. It's, um, it's a healing river.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Can it reattach hands?
- Quentin Coldwater: Maybe.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: I'm going. I'll catch you on the flip.
- [Starts to leave]
- Quentin Coldwater: Wait, no, I don't think you should be going alone.
- Margo Hanson: I'll go.
- [They look surprised]
- Margo Hanson: Um, healing water? We're going to battle. I'll grab, like, a gallon.
- [to Penny]
- Margo Hanson: You're wiping your own ass, so figure that out.
- The Beast: You know, when I was a boy, a man who was meant to care for me bent me over his desk and had me over and over every time I was alone with him. It helps me understand a truth. You're powerful or you're weak. If you're powerful, you will survive.
- Julia Wicker: So what, you're suggesting I just get over it?
- The Beast: Actually, yes.
- Julia Wicker: How? Mutate? Take over a world, kill a bunch of grad students 39 times?
- Martin Chatwin: Brilliant, that, uh, laptop. The things they come up with when they don't have magic.
- Julia Wicker: Yeah, like accounts that tweet police scanner activity.
- Martin Chatwin: "Tweet"? Birds have computer accounts?
- Julia Wicker: ...Don't worry about it.
- The Beast: What you feel, the haunted look in your eyes, doesn't come from nowhere.
- Julia Wicker: Then where does it come from?
- The Beast: In the center of your being, there's a tiny beating heart.
- Julia Wicker: What, you mean like my soul?
- The Beast: Part of it, yes, the slimmest part, but it holds specific power. It's called a Shade.
- Julia Wicker: Shade?
- The Beast: It's what makes you feel the pain will burn you till there's nothing. And, yes, it's also there for love, but, uh, let's be frank, darling, you're more likely to throw yourself off a bridge than ever love again.