The Big Sick (2017)

Kumail Nanjiani: Kumail

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Quotes 

• Terry : So, uh, 9/11.

  [everyone looks at Terry expectantly] 

  Terry : No I mean, I've always wanted to have a conversation with

  [gestures at Kumail] 

  Terry : about it. With

  [gestures again at Kumail] 

  Terry : people.

  Kumail : You've never talked to people about 9/11?

  Terry : No what's your, what's your stance?

  Kumail : What's my stance on 9/11? Oh um, anti. It was a tragedy, I mean we lost 19 of our best guys.

  Beth : Huh?

  Kumail : That was a joke, obviously. 9/11 was a terrible tragedy. And it's not funny to joke about it.

• Emily : [Whilst using her phone to book an uber]  Listen, I had a really nice time, thank you very much. I'm just going to like, call an Uber, go home and I hope

  [gets interrupted by Kumail's phone alert] 

  Emily : Just...

  Kumail : [showing Emily the Uber request]  Your driver will be ready as soon as he puts on his pants.

• Emily : I didn't heckle you, just woo-hoo'd you. It's supportive.

  Kumail : Okay, that's a common misconception. Yelling anything at a comedian is considered heckling. Heckling doesn't have to be negative.

  Emily : So, if I... if I yelled out like... *you're amazing in bed*, that'd be a heckle?

  Kumail : Yeah. It would be an accurate heckle.

• Sharmeen : I was so worried. We saw on the news that a train derailed, and we thought that you were on the train, and you had died.

  Kumail : Nobody died on that train, ma.

  Sharmeen : But did they look under the train?

• Kumail : [talking about Chris]  He's like if a serial killer fucked an inspirational speaker.

  CJ : He's like Daniel Day-Lewis except he sucks.

• Emily : Were you available for rides while we were fucking?

  Kumail : Yeah, but I only looked a couple of times.

• Terry : Love isn't easy. That's why they call it love.

  Kumail : I don't really get that either.

  Terry : I know. I thought I could just start saying something, and something smart would come out.

• [Terry tells Kumail that he cheated on his wife] 

  Terry : It was horrible, too. As soon as I was finished, as soon as I finished, I was like, "what did you fucking do? What did you just do?"

  [Terry shouts at the top of his lungs] 

  Terry : "What did you do?"

  [Terry pauses] 

  Terry : You know, that-that, uh, moment of clarity you get, right after an orgasm.

  Kumail : Yeah.

• Kumail : So... to fully know I love someone, I have to cheat on them?

  Terry : Out loud, it sounds stupid. Eh, it's... yeah, that's terrible advice.

• Emily : I feel good about the surgery.

  Kumail : Yeah. Me, too. These doctors know what they're doing.

  Emily : No, they don't. They're just winging it like everybody else.