- Bruce Mitchell: There are two things you need to do. Do you know what those are?
- Charlie Valentine: Pay taxes and die!
- Bruce Mitchell: You're right about that first one, but you're not dying while you work at this station!
- Commercial Kid: I'll never gonna get a job! I'm never gonna see every Abbott and Costello movie. I'm never gonna learn to play xylophone! I'm never going to achieve world domination! I'm never going to do any of those things... because I died... because you didn't buy insurance!