Quotes
Patrick Duffy/Red Buttons/Ann Reinking/William F. Buckley
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson
- Johnny Carson: [reading from the Ayatollah Khomeini's writings] "A husband must have - *must* have - sexual relations with his wife at least once in every four months."... I'm about due... A little - a little humor there, which I'm sure will be punished later.
- Johnny Carson: [reading the "further advice" of Ayatollah Khomeini] Never eat the meat of a four-legged beast that has appeared in a porno movie.
- Johnny Carson: [reading the "further advice" of Ayatollah Khomeini] A paper boy who misses the porch is accursed. Let him be buried up to his neck in Sunday supplements.
- Johnny Carson: One nice thing about having boys is that when they get married, you don't have to pay for the funeral.
- Patrick Duffy: No... The funeral?
- Johnny Carson: The marriage! Marriage!... That is going to be punishable also.
- Johnny Carson: Your role in Dallas - I'll bet you - you would like one of the meaner parts. You're - you're - you're pretty nice in that, compared to the rest of the cast.
- Patrick Duffy: Yeah.
- Johnny Carson: You got drunkenness and, uh, more carryin' on in that family...
- Patrick Duffy: Right. I'm sort of the bionic Boy Scout.
- William F. Buckley: Whatever you say about the United States, we are still making some kind of an effort to keep a few people free. You'd last ten seconds in the Soviet society - and, uh, it makes a difference to...
- Johnny Carson: With the communists.
- William F. Buckley: It makes a difference to, uh, a lot of us that you have lasted fifteen years.
- William F. Buckley: E.M. Forster wrote a lot of interesting books, and said one really dumb thing. Uh, his dumb thing was, "I hope that if somebody were to give me the alternative of, uh, voting for my friends or for my country, I would vote for my friends." Well, in the first place, the probability is that even *his* friends were, uh, members of his own country.
- William F. Buckley: The notion that we can't ask, uh, people who throw discuses to join us in the common enterprise is, I think, recognized by the American people as intuitively incorrect. And I think it is remarkable that people who have made as many sacrifices as this - these Olympic, uh, athletes have made - uh, remarkable that the majority of them appear to be in favor of, uh, boycotting the Moscow Olympics.