- Johnny Carson: [after being shoved and punched by a Celebes ape] He punched me right in the mouth!
- Jim Fowler: [addressing ape] Doc, I don't...
- [the ape hits Fowler in the face]
- Jim Fowler: He's alright; he's just playing.
- Johnny Carson: Playing, my ass!
- Carnac the Magnificent: [holding envelope to forehead] Prince Charles, and someone who frequents the NBC Commissary.
- Carnac the Magnificent: [opens envelope and reads] Name two people who will eventually be on the throne.