A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV Series)
The Bad Beginning: Part Two (2017)
Neil Patrick Harris: Count Olaf
Photos
Quotes
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Hook-Handed Man : Boss, I have three kinds of butter cream icing here for you to sample. One's vanilla, one has a hint of nutmeg, and the other's a little lemony.
Count Olaf : I told you never to say that word.
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White Faced Woman #1 : [Holds up a drawing of a dress] Isn't it beautiful, Boss?
Count Olaf : No, no, no, it should be delicate, fetching, and a chiffon train rippling down like... like...
White Faced Woman #1 : Like a waterfall.
White Faced Woman #2 : Like an open wound.
Count Olaf : Exactly.
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Count Olaf : You will be playing the young woman I marry. It's a very important role, although you only have one line, and I think you know what it is.
Violet Baudelaire : I don't.
Count Olaf : No, no, no. It's "I do."
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Count Olaf : I wouldn't marry your sister if she were the last orphan on earth. A man like me can acquire any number of beautiful women who don't complain about doing their chores.
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Count Olaf : Take these children to their room and keep them there until Friday. I have no use for them until then.
Hook-Handed Man : Except to cook dinner?
Count Olaf : We'll order takeout.
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Bald Man : [to the tune of the wedding march] Here - comes - Count Olaf. A bit - of - a showoff.
Count Olaf : What?
Bald Man : Nothing else rhymes with Count Olaf.
Count Olaf : There are plenty of things that rhyme with Count Olaf. Hmm. Uh, hmm. Hmm. Rice pilaf!
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Justice Strauss : Carpe diem!
Count Olaf : Seize the children!
Justice Strauss : Seize the *day*!
Count Olaf : I *said* day.
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Count Olaf : I don't really think a boy of your age should be using the word "titular"?
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Count Olaf : Do you know the question I am asked most is?
Hook-Handed Man : Will you please leave the premises?
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Count Olaf : If you use fancy-pants words first thing in the morning, you're going to end up a very lonely man.
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Count Olaf : Do you know what the question I'm asked most is?
Hook-Handed Man : Will you please leave the premises?