Quotes
Fernando Lamas/Richard Pryor/Robyn Hilton/William Peter Blatty
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson
- Johnny Carson: [on Robyn Hilton turning down a Playboy offer] Eleven thousand dollars...
- Robyn Hilton: No; I really, uh...
- Johnny Carson: I'd Indian wrestle Virginia Graham naked in Macy's window... No - no, I wouldn't, either.
- Johnny Carson: The average woman thinks if a fella has an accent - whether it's French or, uh, Spanish, or whatever - is somehow mysterious and, uh... has more emotional qualities within him. That's true.
- Fernando Lamas: It also helps when they do not understand you.
- Johnny Carson: Have I ever...?
- Fernando Lamas: Been hit, by a lady?
- Johnny Carson: Well, it wasn't a lady.
- Fernando Lamas: She was not a lady?
- Johnny Carson: Well, no - because, see, if she would have been a lady, she wouldn't have slapped me.
- Fernando Lamas: Right.
- Johnny Carson: Right?
- Fernando Lamas: That's a - that's a marvelous way out.
- RIchard Pryor: My uncle Dickie brought me a - bought me a cowboy suit, right? With two guns and stuff, and I was in the front yard, you know, and all the family was sittin' on the porch. And there was some dog poo-poo in the yard. And I slipped and fell in it.
- Johnny Carson: Big scream.
- RIchard Pryor: And they started laughing. So I got up and fell in it again.
- Johnny Carson: First rule of comedy.
- William Peter Blatty: [on Pauline Kael] She's part of a small set of elitist reviewers in New York who - who have - are so trapped inside the squirrel cage of their egos that their view of the objective world of reality outside is necessarily very blurred.
- William Peter Blatty: That's what bugged Pauline Kael; uh, she said this is the, uh, greatest recruiting poster for organized religion since Going My Way. And it irritates the hell out of her. You know, I really think Miss Kael needs a, a - has a speech impediment. Maybe her brain... which, uh, if I've, uh - if I've located its, uh, position correctly, uh... the enema should solve.
- Tommy Newsom: [on his upcoming clinic] Actually, I'm gonna talk about how to find peace through death.
- Fernando Lamas: Have you noticed that mysterious people are generally mysterious because they have nothing to say? And I think it's a marvelous way out. You stay in a corner - mysterious, serious; people say "very interesting man". Just dumb! Nothing to say. Grow a mustache, like this, and stay very serious. Maybe a patch on the eye, people say "really something".
- Johnny Carson: Who would you like to come - hope to come back, if you could come back in another life?
- Fernando Lamas: I'd like to be a kangaroo.
- Fernando Lamas: [on women being stronger] You know what would happen if we had to give birth? Humanity would end in a month.
- William Peter Blatty: [on The Exorcist] It's touching a nerve. And I wonder how often that nerve is the realization that the horror on that screen - that demon - is the ultimate father to, the ultimate blood relation to, and the ultimate destiny of cheating your brother and calling it business.