Catastrophe (TV Series)

Episode #4.3 (2019)

Sharon Horgan: Sharon Morris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rob Norris : Have you seen the news?

  Sharon Morris : No. Why?

  Rob Norris : There was an incident in town. A guy drove a car into a crowd of people in front of the M&M store.

  Sharon Morris : No, that was me. I wanted some M&Ms and I forgot my purse.

  Rob Norris : Honey, a guy died. Okay? There was a stampede. It's very upsetting.

  Sharon Morris : Yeah, I'll tell what's upsetting is you thought I was at the M&M store.

• Sharon Morris : You want to start running with me?

  Fran : Not really. Why?

  Sharon Morris : Because I've got fatty organs. And Rob won't run with me anymore 'cause he's scared of London. I don't want to join a gym because of the mirrors. Because of the people.

  Fran : Oh, and the smell. It's like every breath you take has wiggled its way through twenty pairs of sweaty buttocks.

• Sharon Morris : [Dave holds Daphne in a baby carrier]  So, do you have Daphne stuck to you all the time?

  Dave : Sure.

  Sharon Morris : How do you shower?

  Dave : Oh, I have a waterproof one.

  Catherine : [Sharon laughs]  Dave's a very involved parent. There's really not much for me to do outside of flopping out the odd tit.

• Dr. Harries : So, we got your test results back. I'm afraid your cholesterol level is quite high for a woman your age.

  Sharon Morris : You sure? My cholesterol level feels fine.

  Dr. Harries : Also, your bloods are indicating a high level of fat around your organs, and I have to say, your mobility isn't great.

  Sharon Morris : Wait, what does that mean?

  Dr. Harries : You couldn't touch your toes earlier.

  Sharon Morris : Some people just can't do that. It's like wiggling your ears, or moonwalking.

  Dr. Harries : The good news is, your weight is within the healthy limit for your age and height.

  Sharon Morris : So you're saying the package is the right size, but what's in the package is just shit?

  Dr. Harries : No.

  Sharon Morris : You're saying if you took a normal sized mannequin and filled it with margarine, that'd be me?

  Dr. Harries : That's not what I'm saying.

  Sharon Morris : Well, medically, that's exactly what you're saying.

  Dr. Harries : [Beat]  Fine.