Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Tom Hanks/Lady Gaga (2016)

Kenan Thompson: Various

Photos 

Quotes 

• Darnell Hayes : [From category "They out here sayin'"]  They out here sayin', the new iPhone wants for fingerprint, "for your protection.

  [Doug buzzes in, surprising the host] 

  Darnell Hayes : Oh, ok then, Doug.

  Doug : What is, I-I, I don't think so, that's how they get ya.

  Darnell Hayes : Yes! Yes! That's it!

  Keeley : Yes, I don't trust that!

  Shanice : Me neither.

  Doug : No, I read that goes straight to the government.

  Shanice : Hm!

  Darnell Hayes : Well, that is not bad Doug!

• Darnell Hayes : Doug, I don't know what's going on, but the board is yours.

  Doug : Well thank you so much, Darnell. You people are fun. Can I say that? Is that ok? Can I say that?

  Darnell Hayes : We'll give you a pass this time.

  Doug : Okay, let's go to... Big Girls for $200.

  Darnell Hayes : Okay, the answer there: Skinny women can do this for you. Doug?

  Doug : What is, not a damn thing?

  Darnell Hayes : Yeah, you damn right! You damn right! heh heh.

  Doug : Yeah, cause, you know, my wife, my wife, she's a, she's a sturdy gal.

  Shanice : [High-fives Doug!]  That's my man right there!

  Darnell Hayes , Shanice , Keeley : Go Doug! Go Doug! Go Doug!

• Darnell Hayes : They out here saying that every vote counts. Oh, Doug again!

  Doug : What is, come on, they already decided who wins, even before it happens.

  Darnell Hayes : Yes! Yes! Yes! The Illuminati figured that out months ago! That's another one for Doug!

• Darnell Hayes : The mechanic says you owe $250 for new brake lines. Doug?

  Doug : What is, you better go to that dude in my neighborhood who'll fix anything for $40.

  Darnell Hayes : Why, why, you know Cecil?

  Doug : Yeah, but my Cecil's name is Jimmy. And he fixed my refrigerator, my air conditioner and my cat.

  Darnell Hayes : Yeah, yeah, everybody's got a guy. Woo, you all right, Doug!

• Mark : It's a hundred floors of frights. They're not all gonna be winners.