- [first lines]
- Jack Pearson: Happy Valentine's Day.
- Rebecca Pearson: Happy Valentine's Day.
- Jack Pearson: Is that my Valetine's Day card? If it is, I... I'm gonna need to make yours a lot longer.
- Miguel: [Kevin is nervous about the opening of his play] I was a project manager for thirty years, so I... I don't have a creative bone in my body, and I can't talk to you artist to artist.
- Kevin Pearson: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I... I know that, Miguel.
- Miguel: But I do know what I used to do when I was nervous, about a big work presentation, or about anything. I'd talk to your dad. He was... he was my person. He was the one who could steady you when the world felt like it was spinning.
- Kevin Pearson: Yeah, that was my dad. That's very true.
- Miguel: Yeah, and you remind me of him, you know that? The way that you move your hands when you talk. The way you walk across a room. Sometimes you remind me of him so much that the hair on my arm stands up. It's why it breaks my heart that you don't like me, Kevin. Because when I'm around you, I feel like I get a little piece of my best friend back.
- Kevin Pearson: Miguel, uh...
- Miguel: Now, you... are Jack Pearson's son. You have him inside of you. And when you're nervous or you're at your most nerve-wracking moment, the curtain's about to go up... all you have to do is remind yourself of that. Think about what he'd do... and you'll be fine.
- 15 Year Old Randall: So right now Travis Bauman and I are neck and neck to finish first place in our class. But if I don't get an "A" on my "Hamlet" essay...
- 15 Year Old Kevin: Hey, I will write that "Hamlet" essay for you if you stop telling me this story. Come on, man, it's Valentine's Day. Go on a date. Kate, do we know someone desperate enough to go on a date with Randall?
- 15 Year Old Kate: Randall, ignore him. He thinks he walks on water now because he's having sex with Sophie.
- Rebecca Pearson: [overhearing while getting suitcases to pack] What? You're having sex?
- 15 Year Old Kevin: [the kids all freeze in horror] I disown you. You are de-twinned.
- 15 Year Old Kate: Kevin...
- Rebecca Pearson: Hold on.
- [Kevin starts to leave]
- Rebecca Pearson: No, no, we should have a...
- 15 Year Old Kevin: We are not talking about this!
- Rebecca Pearson: [turning to Randall and Kate] Guys, did you know about this?
- 15 Year Old Randall: Honestly, I just assumed. I got to work on my paper.
- 15 Year Old Kate: [following Randall out] Bye.
- Toby Damon: Okay, okay, so who was your first celebrity crush?
- Kate Pearson: Aladdin.
- Toby Damon: Did you say Aladdin?
- Kate Pearson: I did.
- Toby Damon: The cartoon?
- Kate Pearson: Yeah. Did you see his abs?
- Toby Damon: Fair play.
- Jack Pearson: I calmed him down. I mean, that kid...
- Rebecca Pearson: How can I leave them, Jack? Kevin's having sex, Randall's giving himself stress ulcers, Kate is... I don't even know what Kate's doing, but she's wearing a ton of eyeliner, so that can't be good.
- Sophie: Did I wake you up?
- Kevin Pearson: No. No, I've been awake. I'm awake.
- Sophie: Did you have that Katie Couric nightmare again?
- Kevin Pearson: What? No. Of course not. What are you talking about?
- Sophie: Who'd she leave to play tennis with?
- Kevin Pearson: Salman Rushdie.
- Rebecca Pearson: For the past sixteen years, I have put everything and everyone ahead of myself, you and the kids! And I just knew that if I were ever to tell you about this whole Ben thing, you would spin out about it, and I needed to have something for myself without you getting in the way.
- Jack Pearson: I never thought of myself as being in your way, Bec.
- [picking up his coat and leaving]
- Jack Pearson: I need some air.
- Rebecca Pearson: This is a list of everything that I need you to do when I go on tour next week.
- Jack Pearson: Ah.
- Rebecca Pearson: So, this is Kevin and Randall's football schedule.
- Jack Pearson: Mm-hmm.
- Rebecca Pearson: This is the night that Randall has debate team. This is, uh, a check for Kate's music lessons...
- Jack Pearson: Babe. Baby, baby. Contrary to popular belief, I've actually, I've met our children before. Look, for the next month, I'm just, I'm gonna ply them with... with greasy Chinese, and when the boys start to stink, I'm gonna take 'em out back and hose 'em down.
- Rebecca Pearson: Stop. I already feel guilty about leaving them, and you.
- Jack Pearson: Well, we're gonna be fine. Now give your husband a kiss, 'cause it's Valentine's Day.
- Rebecca Pearson: Fine.
- Jack Pearson: Yeah.
- Rebecca Pearson: But only 'cause it's Valentine's Day.
- Miguel: You're handling this whole tour thing great, by the way.
- Jack Pearson: Yeah? I am?
- Miguel: Are you?
- [see Jack pretending to look busy]
- Miguel: Jack.
- Jack Pearson: Mm. Yeah.
- Miguel: It's me.
- Jack Pearson: Why the hell is she going on a tour? I mean, I could deal with a piano bar a couple nights a week, but a tour? I mean, who does she think she is, Janis freaking Joplin? We've got three kids. Three teenagers at home. But I can't tell her that I think it's crazy, because then... she's just, she's gonna resent me forever.
- Miguel: That's true.
- Jack Pearson: Yeah. And then this guy Ben, in her band. Ben, I've met him a couple times. He has a thing for her. H-he, oh, he clearly has a thing for her.
- Miguel: Jack. It's Rebecca. Wouldn't matter if this guy was Jeff Goldblum. She only has eyes for you.
- Jack Pearson: Jeff Goldblum. Really?
- Miguel: Have you seen "Jurassic Park"?
- Miguel: Hey, um, since Rebecca's gonna be gone next weekend, maybe you and I could check out that new place on Lincoln. I mean, y-you don't have to drink or anything, but, uh, even though Shelly and I, you know, haven't been split that long, our marriage has been dead a long time, and I... and I think I'm ready to get back out there. I need my wingman.
- Jack Pearson: Hey, how 'bout you come to Bec's show tonight? I... I'm sure there's gonna be a bunch of lonely hearts there, you could buy 'em a Valentine's Day drink.
- Miguel: Yeah?
- Jack Pearson: Yeah.
- Miguel: Yeah, o-okay, yeah.
- [standing to leave]
- Miguel: Yeah. You know what I'll do? I'll wear that new fedora I got.
- Jack Pearson: Don't do that.
- Miguel: I'm going to.
- Jack Pearson: Embarrass yourself, and me!
- Miguel: I look great in that hat.
- Rebecca Pearson: Hey, you've said three whole words since we left the show. Are you gonna tell me what the problem is?
- Jack Pearson: I don't have a problem, Rebecca.
- Rebecca Pearson: Yes, you do, Jack. I don't know what you and Ben talked about, but something happened while I was changing.
- Jack Pearson: Listen, I... I... I'm telling you, just leave it.
- Rebecca Pearson: I'm not leaving it, Jack. You're acting like a crazy person. What's going on?
- Jack Pearson: Okay. I found out that you were gonna go on tour with your ex-boyfriend.
- Rebecca Pearson: [scoffing laugh] My ex-boyfriend? I don't... I don't know what Ben told you, but he's not my ex-boyfriend. We dated for two months - two months - when I was nineteen years old.
- Jack Pearson: You've been spending three nights a week at rehearsal 'till 11:00 at night with this guy...
- Rebecca Pearson: [not wanting to wake the kids] Shh.
- Jack Pearson: ...and you think that I didn't deserve to know that you had history with him?
- Rebecca Pearson: That's exactly why I didn't tell you. Because it was nothing and I knew that you would get like this about it.
- Jack Pearson: Like... how? Like this? How... how do I get?
- Rebecca Pearson: You get crazy and jealous. And I didn't want you sitting at home, spinning out about something that didn't even mean anything.
- Jack Pearson: You know what? I don't want you going on tour.
- Rebecca Pearson: What?
- Jack Pearson: No. The kids, they need you right now.
- Rebecca Pearson: You just told me this afternoon the kids didn't need me. That you would have everything taken care of, before you knew that I used to date Ben.
- Jack Pearson: No, you know what? I didn't want you going on tour then, either. But I... I was trying to be supportive, I was trying to be a good guy.
- Rebecca Pearson: You were trying to be a good guy?
- Jack Pearson: Yeah.
- Rebecca Pearson: [arguing over each other] Wow, I didn't know you had to try so hard to be a good guy, Jack. That's news to me.
- Jack Pearson: You know what? Look, I thought... I thought that you deserved something for yourself.
- Rebecca Pearson: And now I don't.
- Jack Pearson: No.
- Rebecca Pearson: Now I don't deserve that?
- Jack Pearson: No, no, that's... don't confuse my words.
- Rebecca Pearson: That's what you said.
- Jack Pearson: That's not what I meant!
- Rebecca Pearson: It's what you just said, Jack.