Lucifer (TV Series)

Sympathy for the Goddess (2017)

Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar

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Quotes 

• Amenadiel : [Talking about Charlotte]  There's something going on with her.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Yeah. Or it's just that time of the millennium.

• Linda Martin : [about Maze, who is sitting next to Lucifer, on the verge of tears]  She thought you abandoned her. That you didn't care how that affected her.

  Lucifer Morningstar : But those sort of things never bothered her be-

  [He finally notices that Maze is crying] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : ... Before.

• Nigel : You slept with your therapist?

  Lucifer Morningstar : What? O-only in the beginning. Then she decided that I shouldn't pay for therapy with sex. So, such strong morals, don't you think?

• Amenadiel : I think you might be in danger.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, is it the Yakuza? The Nephilim? One Million Moms?

• Chloe Decker : I mean, the way she talked about your dad and- and what he put her through.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Mm-hmm. Betrayal, torture, Hell, et cetera. All true.

  Chloe Decker : Mm-hmm. I just cannot imagine raising kids with someone like that.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Sympathy for the goddess, detective?

• Mazikeen : You don't care about anyone other than yourself, unless they can be of use to you. Sound familiar?

  Lucifer Morningstar : [his eyes turn red]  Tread very carefully, Maze.

  Mazikeen : You're just like your parents.

  [They start fighting] 

• Lucifer Morningstar : Stop hitting me.

  Mazikeen : Then explain.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I'd like to, but you have a tendency to get emotional about things.

  [She punches him in the face again] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Aah! Case in point.

• Ella Lopez : The home screen is... two eyes?

  Charlotte : Human female breasts.

  Lucifer Morningstar : No. That is a woman's perfectly freckled rump.

  Chloe Decker : So our lead on the killer is a pair of butt-boob-eyes.

• Bianca Ruiz : I can't even count the times that Chet has come close to destroying everything I've built.

  Charlotte : Children always find new ways to test us.

  Lucifer Morningstar : [Listening from the police van]  She's talking about Amenadiel.

  Charlotte : Put us through Hell.

  Lucifer Morningstar : ...That one's me.

• Charlotte : A book? That's what Zeke smuggled for me? Is this a joke?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, if it were, I would have chosen something funnier, like Douglas Adams or Freud.

• Mazikeen : [about Dr. Martin]  How about proof of all the good she's done? Like this guy. Lucifer Morningstar.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, that's quite flattering.

  Mazikeen : ...The worst patient anyone could ask for. He is a back-stabbing, selfish, narcissistic little devil. He's greedy...

  Nigel : Is there a point to this?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, I'm wondering the same thing.

• Lucifer Morningstar : I can't read it.

  Charlotte : But you speak every language.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Speak, not read. I've always found tongues much more useful.

• Mazikeen : What the hell am I, Lucifer... A pawn in some plan of yours?

  Lucifer Morningstar : No, I wouldn't put it like that.

  Mazikeen : Of course you wouldn't, because that would actually require you understanding how you affect people. How you hurt them.

  [She hits him in the nuts] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Oh! Aah! You seem to be the one doing the hurting at the moment.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Hey, I should get my own desk.

  Chloe Decker : Not happening.

• Lucifer Morningstar : I'll show you out, if you insist.

  Charlotte : I'm not going anywhere.