- Quentin Coldwater: You never yell at Eliot for being drunk.
- Margo Hanson: Because Eliot's fun. You're depressing. It's been three months.
- Quentin Coldwater: Technically, it's only been a couple of days on Earth. So...
- Margo Hanson: Three months on Fillory. Of Emo Quentin. Not my favorite Quentin.
- Quentin Coldwater: I didn't know that you liked any of the Quentins.
- Todd: My work study job - I type up Fogg's memoirs. I guess he has, like, a crazy book deal. He's led a seriously weird life. Did you know that he and Bob Ross had a dark artistic rivalry?
- Dean Fogg: The Tesla Flexion has only been successfully employed once before. Luckily, we're using the original equipment, left to Brakebills by the man who invented it.
- Quentin Coldwater: Nikola Tesla?
- Dean Fogg: No, Fred Flexion.
- Julia Wicker: Kady locked me up for a good reason. I should feel terrible about what I did. But I don't. I just think it's terrible, and I think I would've never done it if I were me.
- Dean Fogg: One thing I've learned about you, Ms. Wicker, is that you are a searcher.
- Julia Wicker: You don't know me.
- Dean Fogg: 39 times I've known you. Which is why I trust that you'll put aside your fear and self-pity and look for answers that can save you.
- Margo Hanson: I'll take that.
- [Takes Quentin's wine]
- Quentin Coldwater: Oh, no, wait, I'm - - I'm not done.
- Margo Hanson: I think you were.
- [Pours it out]
- Quentin Coldwater: Not cool. Those grapes died for nothing now.
- Margo Hanson: Those grapes died so you might live. Because if you keep drinking, I will seriously cut a bitch.
- Eliot Waugh: I just don't get it. I mean, I did head off a famine - personally staved off a war. Not to mention, The Wellspring is back online. And yet the people don't like me any more than they did.
- Bayler: How can you possibly know what they actually think of you?
- Eliot Waugh: There's this Earth magician, Nate Silver. I adapted one of his polling spells. Right now, my approval rating is at 26%, which is not good, Bayler. Not at all.
- Bayler: But still, why ask me?
- Eliot Waugh: Mmm, I don't know. I figured you might know why they hate me so much, seeing as you tried to murder me.
- Bayler: Okay, that was before I got to know you. And before you introduced me to this Earth delicacy - na-chos.
- Josh Hoberman: One for $20, three for $50.
- Todd: Which gets you the highest?
- Josh Hoberman: Highest? This is grown locally from heirloom seed stock, paired with the ideal pastry for a curated drug experience. This will make you levitate. This is like being hugged by a rainbow. This is like being blown by a rainbow. Do not mix these up.
- Quentin Coldwater: [Watching Eliot move figures around a table] Holy shit, are we at war?
- Eliot Waugh: [Sighs] I wish we were at war. These are the place settings for the wedding. Much more dangerous.
- Fen: You're acting like you think I'd disapprove of it.
- Eliot Waugh: Your husband is about to welcome another husband into his bed.
- Fen: You're a king. Of course you will. I gather three person marriage isn't normal on Earth.
- Eliot Waugh: Not outside of Utah. Or some websites.
- Fen: Those are cities made of pixels, right?
- Josh Hoberman: Oysters and pearls from the French Laundry. I had to get Thomas Keller so wrecked before he'd show me the secret to that recipe.
- Eliot Waugh: [Tries it] Mmm. I just don't think it's "Fillory" enough.
- Josh Hoberman: But half of Fillory eats boiled mutton! Let's introduce them to, like, actual food.
- Eliot Waugh: This is their world. We have to meet them halfway, don't you think?
- Josh Hoberman: Well, if half your recipe is shit, it's *all* going to taste like shit.
- Harriet: Half the clickbait out there is encoded knowledge for magicians.
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Yeah, right.
- Harriet: ...See for yourself
- [Points to article screen]
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: "18 Pandas With Things That Look Like Pandas"?
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Half of those don't even look like pandas.
- [Harriets flicks her hand, a spell appears on scrren in place of the article]
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: That's how to conjure dark matter! What did you do to the pandas?
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: It's an encoded spell. All these articles are.
- Harriet: Principles of illusion magic.
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Wait, wait, how about - how about "Drunk Guys Eating Kids' Vitamins"?
- Harriet: Oh. That's just drunk guys eating kids vitamins. They vomit rainbows.
- Margo Hanson: Josh, where's that dishwasher?
- Josh Hoberman: Still in the armoire.
- Eliot Waugh: Why is he in the armoire?
- Josh Hoberman: 'Cause I'm not good in a crisis, okay?
- Eliot Waugh: How were you ever a drug dealer?
- Margo Hanson: Why am I staring at a plate of half-eaten nachos?
- Eliot Waugh: A question I've asked myself very often at three a.m.
- Eliot Waugh: After all the hours I spent down in the dungeon, I actually thought I'd won Bayler over. I thought I had rehabbed his soul.
- Margo Hanson: Oh, honey. We both know rehab is about more than nachos and backgammon.
- Eliot Waugh: Is it? Is it, Margo?
- Josh Hoberman: Wait, so you're upset because the guy who tried to kill you is gonna try and kill you again?
- Eliot Waugh: I should've executed him. It's not like anybody likes me anyway. I'm down 5%. And now the Fu Fighters are gonna red my wedding!
- Margo Hanson: Just floating this: Would it be weird if I fuck Josh?
- Eliot Waugh: I certainly hope it would be weird.
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Say you have a - a being with an enormous amount of power. I'm looking for how someone might you know, defeat them.
- Howard: How much power?
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Let's say god-like?
- Howard: So classical myths?
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: No, more like a "how-to" manual.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: We're looking for Harriet.
- Receptionist: And you are?
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Just tell we're from The Order.
- Receptionist: Is that the new Pilates place?
- The Librarian: If it wasn't for his bravery, the hex would have forced him to do something incredibly dangerous.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Open a door?
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Howard kamikazed himself 'cause someone wanted some banned books? That's pretty fucked up!
- The Librarian: What is - -
- [Whispers]
- The Librarian: ... Fucked up is that there is knowledge out there so dangerous we need a Poison Room so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. That is why Howard sacrificed his life. It's something all Librarians would do.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: So he had to die to keep someone from getting their hands on what? Some crazy battle magic?
- The Librarian: There is knowledge behind that door, Penny, that could destroy more than just people. It could destroy worlds.