The Magicians (TV Series)
We Have Brought You Little Cakes (2017)
Dominic Burgess: Ember
Quotes
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Ember : [Narrating] Really, what a planet. I calibrated everything for maximum entertainment. I decreed it be ruled by children of Earth, a glum little planet known for its plucky magicians. These brave souls would come, and when they got boring, off they went. Case in point, Martin Chatwin. Brave, clever boy, born hero, yet honestly, very uncomfortable to watch once he'd been molested. So, I made the difficult decision to kick him out and replace him with someone more punchy and fun.
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Ember : [Narrating] Hello, glorious audience. It is I, Ember, god of Fillory. Feel free to bow and grovel. I'll wait. I, with minor help from my brother Umber R.I.P., created a world intricate as filigree, and that is what I called it, except I was a bit drunk, so Fillory.
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Ember : [Narrating] Wasn't it tragic when Alice died? Wasn't it scary when she became a niffin? The personal nature of her story subverted Quentin's hero's journey nicely.
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Eliot Waugh : We've fallen down on the job, but boredom is death. I totally agree.
Ember : Ugh, isn't it though?
Eliot Waugh : It is. But we can make Fillory more exciting and and watchable than ever. That's our pitch. It's a new chapter and the title is "Shit Tons of Drama and Surprise".
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Margo Hanson : Think back to what you built with your brother Umber.
Ember : My brother, rest his soul, was nothing but a simpering, sniping, anal retentive critic, as well as a - -
[Cut to Umber]
Nigel : Greedy, promiscuous, selfish, credit-hogging, mouse-eating slob!
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Julia Wicker : Come and get me, you fucking baby!
[Picks up sword]
Julia Wicker : You want to know why you're so bored? Because you're too stupid to get it. You're too spoiled and entitled to understand-...
Ember : How dare you? I am a god!
Julia Wicker : Are you? Really? I'm not impressed. I've met scary gods, and you? You're nothing but a petty tyrant.
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Ember : Apocalypse! Apocalypse! Apocalypse! Isn't it wonderful?
