BoJack Horseman (TV Series)

Stupid Piece of Sh*t (2017)

Will Arnett: BoJack Horseman

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Quotes 

• BoJack Horseman : Hollyhock, I'm glad you're here. If I'm shitty, that's just because I'm shitty, and you're allowed to be mad at me. But you need to know that whatever I do, it's not your fault.

  Hollyhock : I know. I mean, I know, but I don't always know, you know? Like sometimes I have this tiny voice in the back of my head that goes like, "Hey, everyone hates you, and they're not wrong to feel that way."

  BoJack Horseman : I know what you mean.

  Hollyhock : That voice... the one that tells you you're worthless and stupid and ugly?

  BoJack Horseman : Yeah?

  Hollyhock : It goes away, right? It's just like, a dumb teenage girl thing, but then it goes away?

  BoJack Horseman : [beat]  Yeah.

• BoJack Horseman : [First lines, in voice-over]  Piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit. That at least makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don't know they're pieces of shit. Or is it worse?

• BoJack Horseman : But now I can feel her getting attached, and I just know I'm gonna BoJack things up.

  Mr. Peanutbutter : "BoJack things up?" You mean, show up somewhere and be the life of the party? Then share a laugh with your good friend, Mr. Peanutbutter?

  BoJack Horseman : No, obviously I meant screw everything up until she hates me. I don't think I can take that.

  Mr. Peanutbutter : Maybe this time, don't do the thing that makes her hate you.

  BoJack Horseman : I don't want to, but every time she looks at me with those big innocent eyes, all I can think about is every shitty thing I've ever done, and I think, "I don't deserve that kind of love."

• BoJack Horseman : You screw-up. You're making your daughter hate you, which is good because look at what happens when people love you. Look at Penny and Herb and Sarah Lynn. It's because you made them love you, BoJack. You gotta fix this dummy. How can you fix this?

• Mr. Peanutbutter : I don't think you should be driving right now. Why don't I be like Eddie Money and take you home tonight?

  BoJack Horseman : No, I can't go home tonight, not without doll. Also Eddie Money doesn't do the taking home in Take Me Home Tonight. So if you're taking me home, then I would be Eddie Money.

• BoJack Horseman : You don't deserve to die young. Only the greats die young.