- Lucifer Morningstar: You give your child money every time she swears? Oh, bravo, Detective.
- Chloe Decker: No, no, no. She pays for every bad word she says.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Ah, well, then I'm even more impressed.
- Chloe Decker: Really? Thank you, Lucifer.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Impressed that you extort money from your offspring. I mean, what a ridiculous idea.
- Chloe Decker: That was Trixie's school calling. Apparently, she's been using some very creative language today.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh. Do tell.
- Chloe Decker: Well, she called her math homework a "cluster duck" and her teacher a "mother flunker".
- Lucifer Morningstar: [amused] Did she not call anyone a "sock sucker"?
- [Chloe looks at him, pissed]
- Lucifer Morningstar: What? It's just someone who sucks socks.
- Chloe Decker: I can't believe you're teaching my daughter loophole swear words.
- Lucifer Morningstar: In my defense, "mother flunker" was entirely the little deviant's creation. And very clever of her, I might add.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Charlotte, where are you going?
- Charlotte: To join the Peace Corps, donate my entire savings to an orphanage, or build a shelter for blind, one-legged puppies.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, as long as you're not being over-dramatic.
- Chloe Decker: Can you give us the access to your security footage?
- Lalo Vasquez: That's above my pay grade. You'd have to talk to the big man upstairs.
- Lucifer Morningstar: God?
- Lalo Vasquez: Uh, no. The company's owner.
- Chloe Decker: Ella's working on cause of death.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, he obviously drowned in this vat of semen.
- Chloe Decker: It's pudding, Lucifer.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Sure, I've heard it called that, too.
- Chloe Decker: Did you bring the tapes?
- Adrian Yates: Sorry, but no.
- Chloe Decker: What? Why not?
- Charlotte: [entering the conference room] Because I told him not to. I'm Mr. Yates' attorney and the LAPD isn't laying a finger on those tapes.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [surprised] Mum?
- Charlotte: For the first time since I woke up on that beach, I thought, "Finally, something that makes sense. Of course I'm sleeping with Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome." Uh... uh... But now you're saying that's not... not even that's the case?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Look, I can assure you that you and I have not or will not ever, ever, ever... sleep together.
- Chloe Decker: Excuse me, Grace Foley?
- Grace Foley: Wha-- why are your clothes still on?
- Lucifer Morningstar: I ask myself that all the time.
- Charlotte: [talking to herself] You are not crazy. No one knows you can't remember the last few months. You will pretend that you do. Own it. You will not give them a reason to put you in a padded cell.
- Chloe Decker: They're shooting their ad campaign here on Stage 69.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [On his phone, not listening] Mm-hmm.
- Chloe Decker: Should be just past the creepy flasher.
- Lucifer Morningstar: That's nice.
- Chloe Decker: Lucifer, I know you're not listening to me. Creepy flasher? Stage 69?
- Lucifer Morningstar: [Looks up] 69? What-- where?
- Lucifer Morningstar: What's your greatest desire?
- Grace Foley: My greatest desire... is to stop shooting this exploitative garbage.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Garbage? What are you talking about? What you're doing is art.
- Chloe Decker: Is it, though?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, despite the unwelcome reminder of Dad and my wings, I've never wanted pudding more in my life.
- Lucifer Morningstar: You parents, always with your lessons. Or as I like to call them, mind games. Well, I'm about to get to the bottom of my Father's latest.
- [Enters interrogation room]
- Lucifer Morningstar: It's Charlotte time!
- [Sees middle-aged man]
- Lucifer Morningstar: You're not Charlotte.
- Larry: And yet people get us confused, like, all the time.