- David Rose: It seems like every time the motel sells out someone dies?
- Johnny Rose: We've only sold out one night?
- David Rose: Exactly!
- Patrick Brewer: You're legally prohibited from providing drugs to your guests so by not giving him anything you've actually avoided any liability in his death
- Moira Rose: Well, there you have it. I'm so glad you're he Pat
- Patrick Brewer: Rick, Patrick!
- Moira Rose: You know how carried away David can get?
- Patrick Brewer: Oh, I do!
- Moira Rose: I'm heading back to the scene.of.the.crime. Of which I had nothing to do.
- [Moira sticks a piece of cheese in her purse]
- Patrick Brewer: Can I ring that up for you?
- Moira Rose: I paid too much for a wedge of brie last week so let's call it even.
- David Rose: I don't think it works like that.
- Moira Rose: Alexis was right. He's a button!
- David Rose: Thanks.
- Patrick Brewer: [Sounding upset] So you told your mom about us?
- David Rose: No, I told Alexis about us and she likely told my mother!
- Patrick Brewer: Listen, David?
- David Rose: No! You listen!
- [Patrick looks surprised]
- David Rose: Sorry, that came out way harsher than I wanted it to. I know how this looks considering you told me that you want to take this slow but me wanting to sleepover at your house
- Patrick Brewer: I know and I'm sorry for assuming that you just wanted to come over to my house just to sleep with me or whatever!
- David Rose: It was purely because there was a dead body in one of the rooms.
- Patrick Brewer: I know.
- [Short pause]
- Patrick Brewer: You know? When you kissed me it felt like my first time. All of those things that you're supposed to feel? I felt them last night.
- David Rose: Well, if we're being honest with each other it felt like my first time too. I mean it's not. I've kissed like a thousand people before but nobody that I cared about, or liked, or thought was nice. So in a way we're both starting something new!
- Patrick Brewer: Thank you, David. And for the record, I respect you and think that you're a good person.
- David Rose: [thinks for a minute] It's just that I said "nice" person.
- Patrick Brewer: I know.
- [Patrick leans in, wraps his arms around David's waist, and kisses David]
- David Rose: I need you to say "nice" person!
- Patrick Brewer: You're a good person David!
- David Rose: That's not nice!
- Alexis Rose: So, you were just sitting in Patrick's car and you just leaned in and kissed him?
- David Rose: What part of this conversation do you not understand?
- Alexis Rose: Patrick wanted you to do that?
- David Rose: Yes
- Alexis Rose: And Patrick told you that he wanted you to do it?
- David Rose: Fall off a bridge, please?
- Alexis Rose: You've given me such a hard time dating Ted but you suddenly french your business partner the minute that he peeks his head out of the closet?
- David Rose: I'll have you know that this is the best first day of a relationship I've ever had.
- Moira Rose: Ding a ding!
- [Stepping inside]
- Patrick Brewer: Oh hey, Mrs. Rose! I was just taking this into the back.
- [lowers his voice to a whisper to David]
- Patrick Brewer: Maybe we can talk about this later?
- David Rose: Oh no, it's nothing. It's just some crossed wires. May I help you?
- Moira Rose: It's eerily quiet in here David is that a good sign?
- David Rose: What are you doing here?
- Moira Rose: Do you know what I'd like? A tea?
- David Rose: We don't sell tea.
- Patrick Brewer: I was just going to make a run to the cafe I can get some tea for you if you want?
- David Rose: No, that's not necessary.
- Moira Rose: Yes, it is. Thank you, Peter!
- Patrick Brewer: It's Patrick. Can I get you anything else?
- Moira Rose: Nothing for me thank you just a scone.
- Patrick Brewer: The tea?
- Moira Rose: Yes, thank you.
- David Rose: I was in the middle of a pretty important conversation.
- Moira Rose: I'm sorry to bother you David but I had nowhere else to turn. It's probably nothing but I think I've killed a man! I don't know what to do David. I haven't been this upset about something since I played Lady McBeth on a Blue Skies Cruise ship during Shakespear at Sea week.
- David Rose: I don't know what to do either because you haven't told me what happened?
- Patrick Brewer: [Patrick returns from the cafe with a cup holder in his hand] One tea for you. One Macchiato, with skimmed, two sweeteners, and a sprinkle of cocoa powder for you.
- Moira Rose: Thank you. You're very speedy.
- Patrick Brewer: Thanks. I wasn't sure about the scone so I got one just in case.
- Moira Rose: There's nothing wrong with treating yourself, dear.
- David Rose: Okay, I'm pretty sure he's ready to quit on me so could you please?
- Moira Rose: I woke up this morning with a spring in my step!
- David Rose: Start later, please?
- Moira Rose: I didn't know what the day would bring?
- David Rose: Fast forward it!
- Moira Rose: I ran into the elderly gentleman outside of his room.
- David Rose: And?
- Moira Rose: He asked me for a painkiller but I told him I didn't have any.
- David Rose: So?
- David Rose: But I did have some. I had some sample packets in my purse. They were just sitting in a bowl in the pharmacy. But I refused the man and the next thing I know he turns out dead!
- David Rose: So, why didn't you just give him the pill?
- Moira Rose: Because David, I can barely accept the fact that I've resorted to hoarding sample packets of a basic pain medication let alone reveal it to the world.
- David Rose: Are you sure the pills would have saved his life?
- Moira Rose: We'll have to let the courts decide!
- David Rose: THE COURTS? Well, now that you've unloaded this on me, what am I? An accomplice?
- Moira Rose: David, I came to be talked off a ledge not pushed!
- David Rose: Can you imagine this in prison?
- Patrick Brewer: Can I interject? I know I wasn't supposed to be listening in on this conversation but it's a small space and your voices carry so beautifully. Mrs. Rose, I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about.
- Moira Rose: That's so nice of you dear but now is not the time for well-intended complacency!
- Stevie Budd: [Knocks on Johnny and Moira's door] Mr. Rose, there's a dead body in room 4
- Johnny Rose: Stevie come in!
- Johnny Rose: I don't think that's a very relevant question, Moira. I mean we can't have people finding out that there's a dead body in the room
- Alexis Rose, David Rose: Ooh!
- Alexis Rose: There's a dead body in the room?
- David Rose: I knew there was going to be a murder here so I'm just going to pack up and I assume we're moving out?
- Johnny Rose: No, we're not moving out and everybody calm down. There hasn't been a murder here
- Stevie Budd: The old man in room 4 died alone in his sleep.
- David Rose: Why do I find that scenario to be even more bone-chilling than murder?
- Moira Rose: Stevie, do we know how this man expired?
- Stevie Budd: Do I look like a coroner?
- Alexis Rose: I don't think you want that question to be answered.
- Johnny Rose: Oh good, I'm so glad you two are still here. We're going to need your room so pack up!
- Alexis Rose: Um no!
- David Rose: Absolutely not!
- Johnny Rose: The motel is sold out and we're unable to remove a body and disinfect room 4 in time for check-in.
- David Rose: Okay, every word of that sentence made me sick!
- Moira Rose: I agree with David. We must move on from all of this.
- David Rose: Did I say that?
- Moira Rose: There's no use wasting time finding out what happened?
- Johnny Rose: We're not trying to find out what happened Moira. We're trying to find a solution and I'm going to need to family's help
- Alexis Rose: Why can't they stay in your room?
- Johnny Rose: It will take a day just to rebox your mother"s wigs!
- Moira Rose: Oh my god! Can you imagine? Not one of you is trained!
- Johnny Rose: Okay, bottom line is we need your room so pack your things and we're going to set you up in our room!
- Moira Rose: Okay, I've never just packed a bag so you might just have to give me a minute.
- Alexis Rose: Yes, and I'm going to be sleeping somewhere else!
- David Rose: Same!
- Alexis Rose: Like literally anywhere else.
- David Rose: Like an old tent on the side of the highway.
- Johnny Rose: Alright enough let's just get going, please.
- Moira Rose: Yes! Yes! Plenty of work to be done. Unfortunately, my previous engagements preclude me from offering my beneficence around the motel today! JOHN I HATE TO LEAVE YOU LIKE THIS!
- Johnny Rose: Yeah, I know Moira! Busy! Busy! I want to room cleaned up in an hour!
- David Rose: Okay, I'm going to need some dry cleaning bags and a padlock.