The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Chris Pratt: Mario
Photos
Quotes
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Mario : [gazing in amazement at all the mushrooms around the palace] What is this place?
[he sees a blue mushroom and reaches for it when...]
Toad : [yells hysterically, throwing Mario back] Do not touch that mushroom; you'll die!
[normally, as he pats the mushroom]
Toad : Oh, I'm sorry, that one's perfectly fine.
Mario : [frightened] Ah, it's a little mushroom... man! A little mushroom man talking to me!
Toad : Pleased to meet you! I'm Toad.
Mario : Uh... Mario.
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Donkey Kong : [after Bowser is shrunk] Ha! He got the blue mushroom!
Mario : [to Peach] Eh? Told ya I'd get you a pet turtle.
Princess Peach : [giggles] Not bad, mustache.
[turns to Luigi]
Princess Peach : And Luigi? You're so brave.
Luigi : Oh, uh, thanks. It's kinda my thing.
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Mario : Let's-a go.
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Donkey Kong : Mario... You saved my life.
Mario : Well, I won't tell anyone.
Donkey Kong : Good, please don't!
Mario : Okay.
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Spike : Well, well, well! If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures: the Stupid Mario Brothers!
Luigi : [annoyed as he and Mario walk up to Spike] Oh great, Spike's here.
Mario : [sarcastically] Hey, Spike.
Spike : [cackles] Yeah, it's-a me! Tell me, have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company?
Luigi : As a matter of fact, Spike, we have.
Mario : [to Luigi] Wow, really?
Luigi : Yeah! Our mom called. She said "Aw boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen!" And I said "Thank you very much mother, we're very proud of it!" So BOOM!
[drops his phone to the ground, breaking it. Mario is embarrassed]
Spike : Good luck running a business with this, idiot!
[throws a napkin at Luigi, but Mario swiftly catches it]
Mario : [angrily] Say that again about my brother, and you're gonna regret it!
[throws the napkin back at Spike]
Spike : [gets up and grabs Mario by his overalls] Oh yeah? Get this through your tiny brain, Mario: you're a joke! And you always will be!
[puts Mario down, chuckles and leaves]
Luigi : Are you insane? He's three times your size!
Mario : Luigi, come on! You know, you can't be scared all the time.
Luigi : Mmm, you'd be surprised.
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Mario's Dad : Mario, you were amazing!
Mario : [touched] Thanks, dad.
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Donkey Kong : So this is the end: being slowly digested by an eel next to an idiot in overalls.
Mario : At least your brother isn't gonna die because of you!
Donkey Kong : Least you're not gonna die with your dad thinking you're a joke!
Mario : [sadly] Yeah well my dad thinks I'm a joke too.
Donkey Kong : Yeah, well... Your dad's right!
Mario : You know what? I feel bad enough! Just- Just leave me alone!
Donkey Kong : I've never met your dad, but he sounds brilliant!
Mario : Just go in a corner and SMASH some stuff, smash monkey!
Donkey Kong : [upset, throws a temper tantrum] I... am... more... than a guy... who smashes things!
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Princess Peach : Well, we have a long journey ahead of us, moustache.
Mario : But I didn't make it.
Princess Peach : You almost did! No one gets it right away.
Mario : How many tries did it take you?
Princess Peach : Oh, so many. I was not good at it. Worse than you.
Mario : [not buying it] You got it right away, didn't you?
Princess Peach : I got it right away, BUT I grew up here.
Mario : Okay, now you're just trying to make me feel better.
Princess Peach : No, no.
[brief pause]
Princess Peach : Is it working?
Mario : A little bit, yeah.
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Mario : Um... no one panic, but the road is about to end.
Cranky Kong : Well then you better step on the gas and buckle up!
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Princess Peach : Thinking about your brother?
Mario : [worried for Luigi] We've never been apart this long.
Princess Peach : Don't worry. We're going to save him.
[touches a Fire Flower and becomes Fire Peach. She uses a fireball to set up a campfire]
Mario : You don't seem like you're from here.
Princess Peach : I don't know where I'm from.
Mario : Really?
Princess Peach : Yep. My earliest memory is arriving.
[flashback to Peach arriving in the Mushroom Kingdom as a baby and the Toads happily welcoming her]
Princess Peach : I was so lucky they found me. They took me in, raised me like one of their own, and when I was ready, they made me their princess.
Mario : Hey, maybe you're from my world!
Princess Peach : There's a huge universe out there. With a lot of galaxies.
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Princess Peach : Is there anything like this in your world?
Mario : What?
Princess Peach : [a little louder] Is there anything like this in your world?
Mario : [laughs] No. We don't drive on rainbows.
Princess Peach : What are you gonna tell me next? That the turtles aren't evil?
Mario : No, no. They're usually pets.
Princess Peach : [surprised, smiles] No way!
Mario : Eh, come to Brooklyn, I'll buy you a turtle.
Princess Peach : [giggles] Maybe I will.
Donkey Kong : [rudely interrupts again to annoy Mario] Dude, is this you flirting? This is painful!
Mario : Jeez, I was just trying to be nice!
Donkey Kong : You are so embarrassing! A princess would never go out with you!
Toad : Yes she would! I guarantee she would!
Princess Peach : Guys, enough!
Donkey Kong : Alright, alright.
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Mario : Mamma mia!
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Mario : [On TV] Save Brooklyn!
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Koopa General : You... can't escape me!
Mario : What?
Koopa General : [exclaims] Blue Shell!
[transforms into a blue shell and hits Mario and Donkey Kong]
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Princess Peach : That was incredible! He kept beating you senseless and you just kept getting back up? You just don't know when to quit!
Mario : Huh. I never thought of it as a good thing.
Princess Peach : It's a great thing.
Mario : [touched] Thanks.
Donkey Kong : [interrupts Mario and Peach's moment] I let him win, just for the record!
Mario : [unconvinced] Really, though? Why would you do that?
Donkey Kong : You wanna know why? It's MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, THAT'S WHY!
[throws a barrel at Mario, who ducks]
Mario : [trying to stand up to Donkey Kong] Alright, giant monkey!
Cranky Kong : [hits both Mario and Donkey Kong with his walking cane] ENOUGH! Get inside!
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Mario : Had enough?
Donkey Kong : [dazed] Not... even... close.
[Mario grabs his tie to save him from falling to his death]
Mario : I'll take that as a yes.
[helps Donkey Kong up, who collapses and loses the fight]
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Toad : [Mario looking around the mushrooms and tries to touch the blue mushroom, Toad jumps out of nowhere and startles him]
[shouting]
Toad : Do not touch that mushroom! You'll die!
Toad : [Calmly] Oops I'm sorry. That one's perfectly fine.
[leans on the blue mushroom]
Mario : [frightened] That's a little mushroom man. A little Mushroom man talking to me.
Toad : Please to meet you. I'm Toad.
Mario : [confused] Uh, Mario.
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[Mario is having a hard time finding the correct warp pipe to head to the castle]
Mario : [frustrated] Oh, come on!
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Blue Toad Guard : [stops Mario and Toad from entering the palace] Hold it right there, you two!
Mario : Oh, hey. I need to see the princess. It's an emergency!
Blue Toad Guard : [looks at the yellow Toad guard and smirks and begins to mess with Mario] what Princess?
Yellow Toad Guard : I never heard of any Princess.
Blue Toad Guard : Oh wait, I did. Our princess though is in another castle.
Yellow Toad Guard : Oh yeah, that's right.
Blue Toad Guard : You should try another castle maybe. She ain't in this one.
[the blue and yellow Toad guards clack their sticks together]
Mario : [confused] huh?
Toad : Okay so they're messing with you and I don't like it!
[pulls out his frying pan and scares the Toad guards and starts screaming but only to build a fire and start cooking]
Toad : [cooking on his frying pan for the Toad guards to distract them from Mario and talks to them] what do you guys um what do you wanna eat? Anything your hearts desire.
[to Mario, quietly]
Toad : Go!
[Toad continues cooking for the guards as Mario sneaks into the palace]
Toad : I'm ready to scramble it up.
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Princess Peach : Down the hatch! Yup, there it is, and all gone.
Mario : Not cool!
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Cranky Kong : Oh, by all means, come in.
[the door closes as Mario, Peach and Toad walk up to Cranky Kong]
Princess Peach : Great and mighty Cranky Kong.
Cranky Kong : So, I heard you want my army.
Princess Peach : Yes, Your Highness. Without your help, the Mushroom Kingdom will be annihilated.
Cranky Kong : What makes you think you're worthy of fighting alongside the greatest army in the WORLD?
Princess Peach : Because we have heart! And with your strength we can win.
Cranky Kong : Okay, fine.
Princess Peach : That's it?
Cranky Kong : No, that's not it! The answer is no! Goodbye!
Princess Peach : [stressed] If the Mushroom Kingdom falls, the Jungle Kingdom is next!
Mario : We're not leaving without YOUR ARMY!
Cranky Kong : [laughs] Who is this guy? He makes me laugh! All right, tough guy! You want my army so badly? Defeat my son in the GREAT RING OF KONG!
Princess Peach : Give us a second!
Princess Peach : [whispers to Mario] This is a really, REALLY bad idea!
Mario : [frustrated] Well do you have another way to save my brother?
Cranky Kong : Are you two done whispering? It's a little rude.
Mario : You, sir, have a deal! I'll fight your son AND WIN!
Cranky Kong : I'm sure you will.
[laughs manically as he is helped onto his kart]
