- Bob Pogo: I'm glad you're here Frank to tell you the truth, this place is a fucking nightmare since you've been gone. Dunbarton gave your job to his shit for brains nephew, Scoop.
- Frank Murphy: Scoop Dunbarton? I remember him, wasn't he in the minor leagues?
- Bob Pogo: Yeah, and a major league prick! Just a miserable human being! He launched a one-man crusade to re-segregate baseball. An injury ends his career so Dunbarton sticks me with him.
- [Pogo groans]
- Bob Pogo: God this tastes like shit. If I could pull a trigger I'd kill myself.
- Frank Murphy: Well Bob, I know it wasn't easy bringing me back, but it would be my honor to help make Mohican great again.
- Bob Pogo: Very good. About that, here's the job I had in mind for you. Three days.
- Frank Murphy: Excuse me?
- Bob Pogo: I'm stuck with Scoop, so I need you you to come back for three days and train him.
- Frank Murphy: Train him? I thought you were giving me my old job back.
- Bob Pogo: Oh, no! Dunbarton wouldn't hire you back in 100 years you're toast around herw.
- [eats cottage cheese]
- Bob Pogo: God, I miss toast.
- Frank Murphy: Are you out of your mind? You called me here to train my replacement?
- Bob Pogo: Yes, but -...
- Frank Murphy: How could you be so heartless? It's not enough you screwed me over once? Now you want to put my family through it again?
- [Meanwhile, back at the airport, Red and Carl tried to entertain a depressed Frank with a scene from their pornography]
- Carl: "Cut to a close-up of Professor Bonewell. He says to the chick 'Guess what? Blowing all of just now? That was your final exam.'"
- Red: "You just graduated Fuck School." Fade out. What do you think, Frank? Would you whack off to that? Be honest.
- Rosie: Don't bother Frank with that dumbass porno. He's been fucked enough for one day.
- [Rosie pours some liquor into Frank's cup]
- Frank Murphy: [to Rosie] Thanks.
- Carl: Frank, it sucks what they did to you, but you're lucky you're out of here. This new boss Scoop is a walking clusterfuck!
- Red: Yeah, dude ain't just a half-brained asshole, he's dangerous.
- Frank Murphy: Guys, you don't have to badmouth the new boss to make me feel better. I'm sure he's -...
- [Scoop slams the door open]
- Scoop Dunbarton: Hey!
- [Close-Up of Scoop's permanent brain damage]
- Scoop Dunbarton: What are you fuckers doing sitting around? Get back to work!
- [Scoop has an outburst by kicking over a cart with luggage on it, picks up an suitcase and tosses it against a wall]
- Scoop Dunbarton: One of you frog parties fix this! Take some fucking initiative!
- Kevin Murphy: Stop touching my stuff!
- Bill Murphy: Stop touching yourself!
- Kevin Murphy: Ow!
- Sue Murphy: What the hell is wrong with you animals? I've got a house full of little girls out there and your yelling is upsetting them!
- Bill Murphy: He started it.
- Kevin Murphy: He touched my records.
- Sue Murphy: I don't care! I am done with you two! You're gonna keep your mouths shut and stay in your beds until I say so! Do you understand?
- Bill Murphy: Nice job.
- Kevin Murphy: Eat me.
- Sue Murphy: Shut the fuck up!
- Vic: [Talking to Karen] Goodbye my love! Parting is such sweet sorrow. I just made that up!
- [Jumps into his car, pours a bag of cocaine on the steering wheel making a huge line, drives away and proceeds to snort it all]
- Vic: I can quit any time I want!
- Sue Murphy: Aw, he's so in love.
- Frank Murphy: He's gonna kill someone, Sue.