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Featured review
House ad parading as a feature
Stills & Mills produced a feature length advertisement for their Girlsway porn site with this Girlfriends Films compilation on DVD. Aimed at only their most rabid fans (and I'm using that term literally), the result, padded with an extraneous but very lengthy bit of filler called "Date My Ex", is only watchable due to the adorable and adoring presence of one April O'Neil.
April stars as a fictionalized version of herself, basically to plug her status (hopefully lucrative) as a contract girl in Stills & Mills' porn empire. I hadn't realized but silently, almost stealthily, that old contract system associated most notably with top Adult labels Vivid and Wicked has given way to an internet substitute, of which Gamma's subsidiary Girlsway along with competitors like Mile High's Sweetheart, are the most prominent. That both these newbie landlords are headquartered in Quebec is a strange but hmmmm...-evoking coincidence.
Show opens without the usual set-up scene -just a lengthy in-progress XXX lesbian sex scene on a couch involving April and lovely Jenna Sativa.
Director Stills by Alan yells cut, and then complains that the girls failed to deliver the customary 30-minute (or more) porn content his website members have come to expect in their Daily requirement of stand- alone XXX vignettes. Alan appears on screen but with head entirely cropped off, almost as if he had accidentally wandered onto the set of one of British helmer Kendo's fetish-oriented hetero porn shoots, in which the passive studs are focused upon mainly in close-ups of their private parts, extreme cropping being Kendo's signature.
Crew member AJ Bucks also gets some screen time, as we are introduced to the wonderful world of Girlsway porno filmmaking. The amount of self- serving plugging extends to April talking to us as she's getting made up for a Pretty Girls photo session (Stills by Alan, of course) and unfortunately for credit-obsessed film historian me, the unbilled makeup lady on-screen could either be Rosalinda or Lisa Sloane, both acknowledged for that crew function in the end credits crawl.
Taking today's TV-induced mania for fake realism (it's called Reality- TV, the oxymoron of our age) to heart, we follow April into her personal life, but at that point the fictionalized Ms. O'Neil becomes wholly fictional, as she's got problems with her lover Janice Griffith (sporting an unbecoming blonde hairdo -I prefer her natural brunette image).
Janice is cast here as a platform for the usual Adult Cinema propaganda regarding the way their profession is mistreated in the popular culture, apart from raking in billions of dollars annually - like Rodney Dangerfield they're misunderstood and don't get no respect. Janice has long complained that her lover has sex with beautiful women for a living (April's illustrious hetero boy/girl career is not alluded to here because we're located in the Girlsway universe where only women count, except for the hacks like Alan that Bree employs to direct her porn). What passes for dramatic story line, minimally, is their lover's spat and some significant white lying by April, eventually leading to a happy ending as sack-time together causes Janice to forgive her partner's breadwinner activities that we all can conclude represent a form of infidelity.
Chief white lie concerns April's covering up her second sexual escapade of the day, moonlighting (without permission I might add) from Girlsway by accepting an over the transom entreaty from former superstar Kristina Rose to appear in one of her self-made (amateurish) videos for the Rose website. April's sexy dallying with the aging in porn years (in her 30s, hardly an oldie but goodie) Kristina is fun to watch, though director Alan typically cheats like crazy at camera angles, rather than adhering to Rose's cheap little camera that we see on screen.
I am a big fan of Kristina's work, but lately she is trapped in that familiar lesbo comeback mode, having been naturally pre-empted by an endless assembly line of new, sweet young (jail-bait) things like Elsa Jean and Piper Perri, so relegated to the Senior Circuit, alongside much older superstars of yore shifting from boy/girl fame to girl/girl paychecks a la Keisha, Porsche Lynn, Dyanna Lauren and Raylene.
All this navel-gazing at their own company by Bree & company is dispiriting and slightly embarrassing, as in April posing for Alan's cheesecake shots wearing a cut-off Girlsway t-shirt, suitable for the DVD box cover.,
But on to the padding. Another jail-bait superstar of the past, Marie McCray (like Rose, now a lesbian comeback kid), phones in the plot of her on the rebound from a failed lesbo love affair to accept an afternoon blind date with Kalina Ryu. She visits Ryu's lavish mansion, a familiar site for porn shoots, with the action taking place on an outdoor blue couch I've seen many times before thanks to Chatsworth as the nation's porn capital. They make love for an hour, cut into two pieces on the DVD, just as it was for streaming on-line -gotta make a buck.
This hour is purely fictional, not two porn stars humping, as Kalina plays a successful ad exec, sort of a 21st Century Elisabeth Moss, while Marie is passed off as....wait for it, an accountant! Oh well, this at least makes for some quite marginal IR content, as Stills & Mills are generally not known for employing actresses of the Black persuasion so we'll have to settle for Kalina's Korean ancestors to fulfill any lingering Affirmative Action guidelines.
April stars as a fictionalized version of herself, basically to plug her status (hopefully lucrative) as a contract girl in Stills & Mills' porn empire. I hadn't realized but silently, almost stealthily, that old contract system associated most notably with top Adult labels Vivid and Wicked has given way to an internet substitute, of which Gamma's subsidiary Girlsway along with competitors like Mile High's Sweetheart, are the most prominent. That both these newbie landlords are headquartered in Quebec is a strange but hmmmm...-evoking coincidence.
Show opens without the usual set-up scene -just a lengthy in-progress XXX lesbian sex scene on a couch involving April and lovely Jenna Sativa.
Director Stills by Alan yells cut, and then complains that the girls failed to deliver the customary 30-minute (or more) porn content his website members have come to expect in their Daily requirement of stand- alone XXX vignettes. Alan appears on screen but with head entirely cropped off, almost as if he had accidentally wandered onto the set of one of British helmer Kendo's fetish-oriented hetero porn shoots, in which the passive studs are focused upon mainly in close-ups of their private parts, extreme cropping being Kendo's signature.
Crew member AJ Bucks also gets some screen time, as we are introduced to the wonderful world of Girlsway porno filmmaking. The amount of self- serving plugging extends to April talking to us as she's getting made up for a Pretty Girls photo session (Stills by Alan, of course) and unfortunately for credit-obsessed film historian me, the unbilled makeup lady on-screen could either be Rosalinda or Lisa Sloane, both acknowledged for that crew function in the end credits crawl.
Taking today's TV-induced mania for fake realism (it's called Reality- TV, the oxymoron of our age) to heart, we follow April into her personal life, but at that point the fictionalized Ms. O'Neil becomes wholly fictional, as she's got problems with her lover Janice Griffith (sporting an unbecoming blonde hairdo -I prefer her natural brunette image).
Janice is cast here as a platform for the usual Adult Cinema propaganda regarding the way their profession is mistreated in the popular culture, apart from raking in billions of dollars annually - like Rodney Dangerfield they're misunderstood and don't get no respect. Janice has long complained that her lover has sex with beautiful women for a living (April's illustrious hetero boy/girl career is not alluded to here because we're located in the Girlsway universe where only women count, except for the hacks like Alan that Bree employs to direct her porn). What passes for dramatic story line, minimally, is their lover's spat and some significant white lying by April, eventually leading to a happy ending as sack-time together causes Janice to forgive her partner's breadwinner activities that we all can conclude represent a form of infidelity.
Chief white lie concerns April's covering up her second sexual escapade of the day, moonlighting (without permission I might add) from Girlsway by accepting an over the transom entreaty from former superstar Kristina Rose to appear in one of her self-made (amateurish) videos for the Rose website. April's sexy dallying with the aging in porn years (in her 30s, hardly an oldie but goodie) Kristina is fun to watch, though director Alan typically cheats like crazy at camera angles, rather than adhering to Rose's cheap little camera that we see on screen.
I am a big fan of Kristina's work, but lately she is trapped in that familiar lesbo comeback mode, having been naturally pre-empted by an endless assembly line of new, sweet young (jail-bait) things like Elsa Jean and Piper Perri, so relegated to the Senior Circuit, alongside much older superstars of yore shifting from boy/girl fame to girl/girl paychecks a la Keisha, Porsche Lynn, Dyanna Lauren and Raylene.
All this navel-gazing at their own company by Bree & company is dispiriting and slightly embarrassing, as in April posing for Alan's cheesecake shots wearing a cut-off Girlsway t-shirt, suitable for the DVD box cover.,
But on to the padding. Another jail-bait superstar of the past, Marie McCray (like Rose, now a lesbian comeback kid), phones in the plot of her on the rebound from a failed lesbo love affair to accept an afternoon blind date with Kalina Ryu. She visits Ryu's lavish mansion, a familiar site for porn shoots, with the action taking place on an outdoor blue couch I've seen many times before thanks to Chatsworth as the nation's porn capital. They make love for an hour, cut into two pieces on the DVD, just as it was for streaming on-line -gotta make a buck.
This hour is purely fictional, not two porn stars humping, as Kalina plays a successful ad exec, sort of a 21st Century Elisabeth Moss, while Marie is passed off as....wait for it, an accountant! Oh well, this at least makes for some quite marginal IR content, as Stills & Mills are generally not known for employing actresses of the Black persuasion so we'll have to settle for Kalina's Korean ancestors to fulfill any lingering Affirmative Action guidelines.
Details
- Runtime2 hours 42 minutes
- Color
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