JonTron: You gotta love it. It's always a guy like Phil Swift, Johnny Starr. You never get another guy coming out like "It's me, Josephi Krakowski with Flex Tape".
JonTron: Phil, what does that have to do with tape? Tell me. How the fuck- what does that got to do with Flex Tape?
JonTron: This is what happens when you try to play God!
JonTron: I no longer want water.
[He puts a strip of Flex Tape on the sink's faucet, with some water leaking]
JonTron: Oh, shit!
JonTron: You repaired it with only Flex Tape. I'm sure you did. And you're on the boat! He's on the fucking boat! I'm sorry. Does that say 12 inch wide Flex Tape used on both inside and outside of the boat? See, you gotta make sure you use it both the inside and the outside. There is no fucking way that the only thing they use to put that boat together is Flex Tape. I will eat my-I'll eat my fucking Flex Tape.
JonTron: You still left the other one, Phil! You've done half a job and you got a full smile!
JonTron: Flex Tape ain't super strong, Phil! YOU'RE super strong!
JonTron: Seriously! Do not try to attempt this! Phil has gone too far! He sniffed too much Flex Glue and now all he can see is martians!