User Reviews

The time is 1879. The place is Minnesota. The man is Jesse James on the threshold of rehabilitating himself and becoming a good family man, as opposed to a notorious outlaw. Cole Younger, Jesse's ol' sidekick, is now on the run as he tries to evade the long arm of the law. America is in transition with the old West fading into the sunset. The major dramatic question: Will Jesse be drawn back into the thrill of train-robberies just for old times sake?

This background should make for an interesting Western. Unfortunately, this amateur film has the look of a home movie. The costumes look like they were borrowed from a Halloween theme party. The filming uses overkill on extreme close-ups. The framing of individual images is typically off-center. The subtitles resemble neon signs. The wooden actors read their lines as if they are coming off of freshly written cut cards. When firearms are used, it appears as though the performers are handling them for the first time in their lives.

It is unclear how this film made it into Redbox machines. It is so bad that it makes Ed Wood and the "Disaster Artist," Tommy Wiseau, look like Orson Welles. "Jesse James v. The Black Train" is so bad that it may serve in speeding the demise of the film Western.

The film centers on the waning days of Jesse James after a group of women shooting at the James Gang, standing out in the open, run Jesse out of Minnesota with Cole Younger shot and jailed. Jesse has a desire to rob "The Black Train" which was a poorly executed metaphor for the Grim Reaper. In fact every aspect of the film was poorly executed, including the hollow sound.

The biggest pity is that they didn't use real bullets in making this film. I never want to see people in a film again. It is so bad, it could be funny.