- Janet: The more human I become, the less things make sense. But that's part of the fun, right?
- Eleanor Shellstrop: What do you mean?
- Janet: If there were an answer I could give you to how the universe works, it wouldn't be special. It would just be machinery fulfilling its cosmic design. It would just be a big, dumb food processor. But since nothing seems to make sense, when you find something or someone that does, it's euphoria. In all this randomness and this pandemonium, you and Chidi found each other, and you had a life together. Isn't that remarkable?
- Eleanor Shellstrop: [laughs slightly] "Pandemonium" is from "Paradise Lost". Milton called the center of Hell "Pandemonium", meaning "place of all demons". Chidi tricked me into reading "Paradise Lost" by telling me Satan was, and I quote, "my type": a big, mean, bald guy with a goatee. I mean, he wasn't wrong.
- Janet: Oh, no, that's very on brand for you.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: I guess all I can do is embrace the pandemonium, find happiness in the unique insanity of being here, now.
- Janet: We'll do this together. In the words of the man that I love: "I got you, dog."
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Thanks, Janet. You know, for a robot, you make a really good girlfriend.
- Janet: I'm one out of three of those things... but thank you.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: I don't normally cry at movies... but that one was pretty good. That girl was hot.
- [smiles]
- Eleanor Shellstrop: The guy was, too.
- Chidi Anagonye: I'm gonna miss you so much, Eleanor.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Except you won't. That's what's so scary about this whole thing. I'm gonna miss you, you're just gonna think I'm some sexy, godlike figure who you wanna hump immediately after meeting her.
- Chidi Anagonye: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are...
- Eleanor Shellstrop: [tearfully] It's not a joke, I'm a legit snack.
- Chidi Anagonye: ...but I believe in you. I am not even scared to get rebooted, because I know you'll be here taking care if me.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: I wish we had more time together.
- Chidi Anagonye: Oh, time means nothing. Jeremy Bearimy, baby. We'll just get through this, and then you and I can chill out in the dot of the I forever.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Right. We'll be okay. We found each other before, hundreds of times. We can do it again.
- [Michael walks in; Eleanor and Chidi look at each other sadly, one last time]
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Bye, Chidi.
- Chidi Anagonye: Next time you see me, it'll be like I'm a new resident. I won't know any of you.
- Jason Mendoza: So, will you remember that time in Australia when we stayed up late and we ate pizza together?
- Chidi Anagonye: No, buddy, I won't.
- Jason Mendoza: Will you remember when we ordered the pizza?
- Chidi Anagonye: No.
- Jason Mendoza: Will you remember pizza?
- Chidi Anagonye: [frowns] Will I remember what pizza... is? Yeah. I'll still know what pizza is.
- Jason Mendoza: Okay. So not a total loss.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Janet?
- [Janet appears]
- Janet: Hi, there.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Hi, Janet. Can you just, you know, like, tell me the answer?
- Janet: Sorry?
- Eleanor Shellstrop: You know, the answer to everything. You know all there is to know in the universe. Crunch the numbers. Tell me the answer. What's the point of love if it's just gonna disappear? And how is it worse to not love anybody? There has to be meaning to existence, otherwise the universe is just made of pain, and I don't like the thought of that, so tell me the answer.
- Shawn: What's that thing that you humans say, when you're playing chess, when you trap your opponent into an inescapable position? Oh right, "Eat butt, you dingdongs."
- John Wheaton: [to Tahani] So, wait, what about you, huh? You died in Canada? That is so weird and embarrassing. That's like the nip slip of dying.
- [laughs]
- Janet: If there were an answer I could give you to how the universe works, it wouldn't be special. It would just be machinery fulfilling its cosmic design. It would just be a big, dumb food processor. But since nothing seems to make sense, when you find something or someone that does, it's euphoria.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork-blork of all time. Hm. It's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.