Schitt's Creek (TV Series)

Asbestos Fest (2018)

Annie Murphy: Alexis Rose

Quotes 

• Jocelyn Schitt : Let's hear it for the children's choir with their Kylie Minogue melody. Those are some racy lyrics. Now our next performer will surprise you because she certainly surprised me when she told me that she switched up her entire act when somebody put a pretty hefty deposit on a wall of mirrors.

  [Jocelyn cries under her breath] 

  Jocelyn Schitt : And now the main event.

  David Rose : [Taking the microphone from Jocelyn]  Oh thank you very much. Burr, it's cold in here.

  Alexis Rose : [Turning to her dad]  Is this the number?

  David Rose : [as Moira knocks on the stage door frame]  Hey I wonder who that could be?

  [Moira walks out on the stage] 

  David Rose : Hey! It's TV's Moira Rose?

  Moira Rose : That's TV's mom to you! When I think of how many people in this town die from asbestos poisoning? But when I think that this town could be asbestos-free before...

  David Rose : Christmas!

  Alexis Rose : [Turning to Patrick]  They used to do this every year at our Christmas Party every year and you can't unsee stuff like this.

  [Patrick laughs] 

  David Rose , Moira Rose : Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding dong, ding, dong

  Moira Rose : On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me the keys to a Lamborghini.

  David Rose , Moira Rose : [David and Moira Sing Oh Come All Ye Faithful and Deck The Halls at the same time]  I say faithful but I can't say the same for all of you!

  [David and Moira God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen together]