- Preston Tien: Remember, the key to beating stage fright is to know that the audience wants you to do well.
- Mr. Lunt: [caving in under Victor's and Monty's pressure] Fine, Victor. You can be... Romeo's understudy.
- Victor Vincent: Ooo, how many lines does HE have?
- Mr. Lunt: If for any reason Preston can't make it tonight, you will play Romeo. Fair enough?
- [Monty and Victor glance back at Preston]
- Monty: So if he got laryngitis...?
- Victor Vincent: Or is run over by a stampede...?
- Monty: Or if he just mysteriously disappeared...?
- Victor Vincent: Ooo...
- Mr. Lunt: Exactly.
- Preston Tien: What?
- [Calvin feels cheated, so Mick knocks a steel mallet onto his own foot]
- Mick Kanic: Oh, that hurts! Ooo, it'll hurt forever! Ewwww, no, no, I can't even walk. Oh! They're gonna have to replace me as shop teacher! This is it for me! I'm done, ruined!
- Calvin Maxwell: Mick, whoa! You're jumping to conclusions.
- Mick Kanic: [calmly] Oh, am I? Maybe you're right. Maybe it's not a good idea to jump to conclusions before you have all the facts.
- Calvin Maxwell: [thinking] Were you faking all that?
- Mick Kanic: Mmm, kind of, but it hurt a little.