- Narrator: Starring:
- [Wesley Snipes as Blade]
- Narrator: White Men Can't Slay;
- [Kris Kristofferson as Whistler]
- Narrator: Suck Dynasty;
- [Vampire with impaled object in its forehead]
- Narrator: Vampire Weakened;
- [Norman Reedus as Scud in Blade II]
- Narrator: Daryl? What are you doing here?;
- [Ryan Reynolds as Hannibal King in Blade: Trinity]
- Narrator: Fratpool;
- [Parker Posey as Danica Talos in Blade: Trinity]
- Narrator: Where's His Busy Bee?;
- [Ron Perlman as Reinhardt in Blade II]
- Narrator: Hellboyz 2 Men;
- [Triple H as Jarko Grimwood in Blade: Trinity]
- Narrator: I've Got Two Character Appropriate Words For Ya;
- [Jessica Biel as Abigail Whistler in Blade: Trinity]
- Narrator: Bielby Driver; Techno
- [montage of techno music]
- Narrator: ; Vampires Throwing Children at Blade and Then Running Away
- [montage of shots]
- Narrator: ; and Hot Topic.
- Drake: You sell vampire merchandise?
- Shopkeeper: Yeah. Look around. We might have a few things...
- Narrator: [Honest title appears] What He Slew In The Shadows.