- Johnny Carson: [during the monologue] Not much else happening in the news. On slow news days, you'll grab anything. There was a squib in the paper today. Did you know the first pay telephone went into service a hundred years ago to this day in the United States? First pay telephone. As I said, there's not a lot in the news. It was installed at the corner of 123rd Street in Amsterdam Avenue in New York City. And the very first caller was a Mrs. Mable Switlock, who opened the folding doors, stepped inside, and had her hat eaten by a humongous moth that was hovering around by the light.
- [mild audience laughter; Johnny turns to Doc Severinsen, who's talking to the band. Doc notices and turns around]
- Johnny Carson: Wh-wh, now come on, let's hear it. It's like talking in class. Let's all hear it.
- Doc Severinsen: Well... we were just saying, if things don't pick up here in a minute, we'd have a little dance music for ya.
- [audience cheers]
- Johnny Carson: [turns to Ed, who's talking to Fred de Cordova] What are YOU two guys talking about? Now...
- Ed McMahon: I was just trying to explain that joke to Freddy. There's no way you can explain it to anybody. You can't explain it to anybody.
- Johnny Carson: Well, it just, it was just a silly-sounding joke. You try those things. I don't have a chance to take this crap on the road! You come out here...
- [the band starts playing "Tea For Two", and Johnny tap dances to audience applause/cheering]
- Johnny Carson: There was this BIG moth.