Creature in the Woods (2017) Poster

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3/10
Creature in the Woods: Sadly really quite poor
Platypuschow16 June 2018
Creature in the Woods is an indie horror so obscure that IMDB doesn't even have 5 ratings to give it an average and this will be the movies very first review.

It saddens me that its first review has to be a bad one and I'll be very surprised if it gets any good ones in future, even shill ones as they'd have happened by now surely?!

It tells the story of three friends who venture into the forest to film a survival documentary, they are warned of a mysterious "Wild Man" and advised to stick to the path. Of course they don't heed the warnings and tragedy ensues.

For some reason I wanted to like this. Yes it's cliched and yes the exact storyline I just described has been done to death as have these hyper low budget indie films but it had a charm. Sadly the charm simply isn't charming enough and this falls into the category of just another found footage flick.

The Good:

Has a certain charm to it

The Bad:

One of the three characters is deeply annoying

Nothing even remotely original

The creature looks awful

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

You can't outrun a bear, no seriously I didn't know that!

If you identify that a creature is VERY dangerous, sprint after it

Chewbacca is down on hard times
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4/10
Decent typical story. Flattest acting ever.
pmcguireumc20 December 2020
The only 1 of the three actors with any range whatsoever is Nick, the camera guy.

The other two have all of the acting range of a to b. The girl is beautiful, but so ridiculously flat in her expression that it is almost like watching a card board cut out act.

The other male lead is no better, so in that sense, they are compatible.

The story is as predictable as is any film of its type. The creature scenes are actually pretty good though, so to be honest, you could skip to around 20 minutes and not lose a thing.
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1/10
"Really quite poor" is generous
mfcoder-imdb13 September 2018
Found footage in the style of many others; unoriginal plot; poor dialogue; badly acted. There's nothing of merit here. Avoid wasting your time.

Three guys go into woods to make a survivalist documentary. They are all annoying, illogical, thin, pointless characters, making poor decisions, repeating dialogue, situations, decisions, ... it's all appalling. You can guess what happens, what scenes there will be and how it ends. So save your time and don't watch.

The prologues/epilogue scenes are silly - that's a static camera they pick up, not a video camera, so it wouldn't have been the camera providing the found footage.

The early bar scenes have odd sound quality. I think it was recorded, then audio added later. Badly. The bar tender seemed to be the best actor on show.

You can't "spoil" this movie - the makers already did that.

When it ended, I wasn't 100% convinced it wasn't a parody, such was the unrelentingly dreadfulness of it.
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1/10
Let's Talk About Nic!
tmccull523 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
If there is one cliche in horror movies that I'm really getting tired of, it's the "annoying guy in the group" character. In the film, that character is Nic.

Nic is lazy. Nic is a whiner. Nic is one of those obnoxious slobs who thinks he's witty and charming, and in actuality, isn't even remotely either of those things. Nic has absolutely no sense of responsibility, not a shred of accountability for his actions or behavior. Nic is crude, boorish, stupid, and utterly lacks in redeeming quality. Nic is snarky and sarcastic.

Who would be friends with this idiot? He is utterly and completely unreliable and unlikeable; why would anyone bring him along for a weekend of roughing in the woods? He's virtually guaranteed to whine and complain. It's a certainty that he won't carry his weight. He will unquestionably become a burden on his companions. Nic is the kind of a guy that you would push TOWARDS a bear, if it started to chase you.

With all of his obnoxiousness, Dom and Chanda decide to film a wilderness survival ducumentary in the woods of Hobgood, North Carolina, with Dom starring as the focus of the film. They aren't in the woods for very long when they catch a glimpse of a large, hairy creature. Dom dismissed the sighting as being a bear, but Chanda and Nic think they've seen a Sasquatch.

The trio agrees to disagree what it is that they saw, and they press on. Dom warns Chanda and Nic about the dangers of running into a bear, if that is what they saw. He expresses his reservations about tracking whatever the creature is, but he agrees, providing that Chanda and Nic follow his directions. Only moments later, they spot the mysterious creature again, and go running after it. Now, mind you, they go sprinting pell mell after this creature, immediately after Dom told them how dangerous this could be. This is another facet of Darwinism: people too stupid to live.

Our intrepid band has no bear spray, no discernable weaponry, not even a walking stick, and yet they foray into the woods in pursuit of a potentially dangerous creature. Even after they find the remains of a freshly killed bear that was ripped apart, they press on.

The group decides to make camp, and we are treated to hints of the inevitable attraction between Dom and Chanda. They begin to discuss their feelings, hear a noise, and Chanda ends up on Dom's lap. Our merry band decides to turn in for the night, and shortly thereafter, they hear more noises outside of their tents. Chanda and Nic decide to investigate, armed only with a flashlight and a camera. Nic argues that they are straying too far from camp, but Chanda presses on. Mind you, they believe that they are setting out after something that ripped a bear apart, and they only have a camera, and a flashlight. Again, too stupid to live.

Dom.goes out and finds Chanda and Nic, and shepherds them back to camp. Along the way, they catch a whiff of a horrible stench, and Nic asks which of them farted. After they reach camp, Chanda and Nic discuss Dom's feelings for Chanda, and Nic assures Chanda that Dom has feelings for her, and won't let her down. A few moments later, they hear more noises close to camp, and Nic loses it. He thinks that the locals of fair Hobgood are messing with them.

The next morning, Dom has had a change of heart, and he opines that going after the thing that killed the bear is a good idea. As they begin their trek anew, they find trampled grass, a bed made by Mr. Stinky the Bear Killer, and it isn't that far from where they had been camped out. Dom confirms the fact that a bear didn't make this best, because bears don't have opposable thumbs.

At this point, Nic exclaims that "this shit just got real!". Shit didn't get real when they found a bear that had been manually drawn and quartered. Shit wasn't real when they were chasing Mr. Stinky the Bear Killer in the dark the night before. Shit got real when bears didn't have opposable thumbs.

Too. Stupid. To. Live.

Dom posits a theory. He wonders why the "wild man" didn't take their food. He says that the "wild man" didn't take their food because it wants them to stay. Dom says that the "wild man" knew that they would leave if it took their food. They aren't stalking it, he explains; it is stalking them. Right after this, Stinky the Bear Killer makes a noise, panics the group, and they flee. Somehow, Nic and Chanda, the inexperienced hikers, outdistance Mr. Outdoorsman, Dom, and they become separated. Chanda and Nic decide to go and look for Dom; he has the bulk of their supplies and emergency equipment. And there is also the matter of the suddenly undying love between Dom and Chanda. They find Dom, torn apart by Mr. Stinky the Bear Killer. Chanda doesn't seem unduly torn by this, despite the budding love between she and Dom.

They find bloody remains, and Chanda wonders aloud about what kind of creature it is that they're dealing with. It's the kind that rips bears apart, Chanda dear.

Nic and Chanda wander about in the dark, trying to figure out their next move. They can tell when Mr. Stinky the Bear Killer is nearby, due to its stench. They decide to stay put, rather than roam about in the dark, and Nic wanders off to find a sharp stick. Yes. A sharp stick.

Too. Stupid. To. Live.

Chanda sets up a tent, and Nic goes into the woods to take a dump. When he returns, Mr. Stinky the Bear Killer makes his presence known, and Nic and Chanda flee.

The next morning finds Chanda alone. She makes a cryptic video entry. Maybe if she doesn't survive, the video will. Cue Mr. Stinky the Bear Killer.

As it turns out, Mr. Stinky the Bear Killer isn't a cryptid after all. He's some clod in a Bigfoot costume, and he has accomplices. These three have killed Dom, Chanda, and Nic, not some cryptid creature.

The movie opened with a family hiking through the woods. They find one of Nic's cameras, and review some of the footage. What they see horrifies them, and causes them to drop the camera. The film comes back to this family at the very end, just as they drop the camera. They hear a roar and look towards the woods. There stands the fake Mr. Stinky the Bear Killer, and his pals.

Roll credits.
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incredibly bad
smoke03 October 2019
Especially the end, actually quite funny, and shocking at how idiotic it is, but such a nice payoff for sitting through the credits nobody cares about, much less the entire movie.

The actors were so earnest I felt sorry for them, and it's a shame the film did not have just a bit more humor overall, but there is something almost endearing about how awful it is.
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1/10
Amateurs
moviebookcritic4 March 2021
Another (Blair Witch Project)? I wish the rating format allowed to rate this movie as a (ZERO). Some advice for the writers/directors/producers, "Don't quit your day jobs!"
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