- Brett Kavanaugh: First of all, I showed this speech to no one. Not my family... Not my friends... Not even PJ, or Tobin, or Squee. This is my speech. There are others like it, but this is mine. I wrote it myself, last night, while screaming into an empty packet of Doritos.
- Chuck Grassley: Ju...
- Brett Kavanaugh: WHAT?
- Chuck Grassley: Judge Kavanaugh, are you ready to begin?
- Brett Kavanaugh: Oh, hell, yeah.
- Chuck Grassley: But now it's time to hear from the hero, Judge Brett Kavanaugh, who I'm told has been shadow boxing in the men's room for the last forty-five minutes.