Ah! My Goddess: Bad Goddess The Anime Video Comic (TV Series)

The Rejected Sequel (2017)

Kevin Neece: Kevin from the Other Dimension

Quotes 

• Kevin from the Other Dimension : The Rejected Sequel was a story that was never quite finished. Basically, it operated on a one joke premise. I turned Oh My Goddess into a Post Apocalypse film because Donald Trump won the election. I mean, it stands to reason that if anyone could survive the Nuclear Apocalypse, it would be those Goddesses. The story you are about to see is a bunch of select scenes from the incompleted movie.

  Megumi Morisato : Well, today marks the one year anniversary that my Keiichi died.

  Otaki : Yeah, but he's not really all that dead, is he? He's just moved upstairs with Belldandy.

  Hasagawa : Do you think we'll ever get to see him again? I mean, dead is dead, but, wouldn't you think that we'd be special cases?

  Tamiya : Still have to admire the way he went out.

  Megumi Morisato : I wonder if he's finally built up a tolerance for sex with Belldandy now that he's already dead.

  Otaki : Poor Keiichi. He's probably homesick right now as we speak.

  Hasagawa : Do you think he still thinks about us? Do you think he's watching over us?

  Tamiya : Well, that race of Goddesses did seem to be the NSA of the afterlife.

  Megumi Morisato : God is always watching... even when you masturbate.

  Otaki : Especially while you masturbate.

  Megumi Morisato : To Keiichi...

  Hasagawa : To Keiichi...

  Otaki : To Keiichi...

  Megumi Morisato : Wherever he may be...

• Kevin from the Other Dimension : We cut to Heaven to see what Keiichi is up to, and it's jokingly a montage of Keiichi doing super happy shit to Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. Unfortunately, the song is blocked on youtube due to copyright restrictions, so it had to be replaced. At the end of the montage we cut to this scene.

  Keiichi Morisato : Another beautiful, glorious day.

  Belldandy : Of course! Every day is a beautiful day in Heaven!

  Keiichi Morisato : No worries! No conflict! No bills to pay! No bosses to scream at you! Free Cable TV!

  Belldandy : And beautiful scenery as far as the eye can see! Just fun, fun, fun for the rest of our lives!

  Urd : And best of all! All of your favorite old movie stars are alive again! You get to meet famous historical figures in their prime! It's good to be a Goddess!

  Keiichi Morisato : Hey, anybody want to listen to the radio?

  Choir of Angels : In Heaven, everything is fine! In Heaven, everything is fine! In Heaven, everything is fine! You're got your friends! And I've got mine!

  Skuld : Belldandy, it's great to be home again but I miss all of our friends. I miss Megumi, and Otaki, and Hasagawa, and Tamiya, and even those sorry sons of bitches Sayoko and Aoshima. Well, maybe not Aoshima.

  Urd : Wait til he gets to Niflheim. Hild is going to have him date raped by circus clowns.

  Skuld : Oh, goody!

• Keiichi Morisato : Another beautiful morning.

  Belldandy : Of course! Every morning is a beautiful morning when you're in Heaven! Just remember, today is the first day of the rest of our glorious afterlives! Oh, but I do have to return to work eventually.

  Keiichi Morisato : Well, what are we waiting for? Let's make the best of all this awesome time we've got!

  Belldandy : Oh, you!

  Kevin from the Other Dimension : Keiichi and Belldandy get dressed. While Keiichi is getting his clothes on, he's so fucking happy, he starts ballroom dancing with the coat rack to the music. Then he switches places with Belldandy and they swing each other around in a circle laughing. This scene is so full of happiness it's almost sickening.

  Titles : Keiichi and Belldandy leave the bedroom in a happy walk and stop like deer in headlights. Their house has been invaded by horrible, awful, intolerable, nasty, irritating, scummy Americans. Yes, there are good Americans, but for the sake of comedy, in this episode. Everyone in Heaven gets all of the stereotypically annoying Americans that you just want to strangle!

  Belldandy : Oh my god! Our house has been invaded! Who are all these people?

  Urd : Didn't they tell you? Those government morons finally nuked planet earth, we're so overpopulated, all of these assholes have to move in with us.

  Titles : Keiichi and Belldandy run outside. The entire lawn, NO, the entire grassy area, NO, pretty much the entire general area is covered with nothing but dirty hippies and scummy Americans. It's like the return of Woodstock. Except it's shitty Woodstock that forgot to book the musicians, and it feels like it was set during the depression.

  Belldandy : Oh my God. How are they going to process all of these people?

  Keiichi Morisato : So, does this mean Heaven is going to suck like real life again?

  Belldandy : Yes, you idiot.

• Kevin from the Other Dimension : Now just imagine a montage scene of the pond scum houseguests of humanity, annoying the shit out of the angels and goddesses and valkyries at every turn in their own houses. For example, a goddess wakes up to take a shower and she's surprised by some creep who beat her to it. Or a goddess who can't sit down and relax in her own home because her living room is overloaded with houseguest. It's driving the race of goddesses fuck crazy. It's driving them UP THE FUCKING WALL! Just imagine as many of these visual skits as you like until the song ends. Stupid Rotten Scummy Americans.

  Titles : ONE MONTH LATER... Keiichi and Belldandy have black rings under their eyes like they're completely stressed out nervous wrecks. In fact, they look kind of traumatized.

  Keiichi Morisato : What - a - beautiful - morning.

  Belldandy : Every - morning - is - a - good - morning - when - you're - in - heaven.

  Urd : Make - the - bad - man - stop - mommy. Make - the - bad - man - stop.

  Skuld : I can't wait to go to work today! This has been the best month ever!

  Choir of Angels : In Heaven, everything is fine! In Heaven, everything is fine! In Heaven, everything is fine! You've got your friends! And I've got mine!

  Kevin from the Other Dimension : Eventually in the story the Goddesses go down to Post Apocalyptic Planet Earth on a rescue mission. But it's really just to escape from the annoying houseguests. They rather deal with the Mutants than the Scummy Americans. Unfortunately from this point on, the screenplay quite lazily became a ripoff of James Cameron's Aliens and a bunch of other movies. Let's just skip ahead shall we...

  Urd : Say, you wouldn't happen to know where a girl could find gainful employment around here, would you?

  Post Apocalypse Bum : Hmm... well let's see. The restaurant industry is down. The retail industry is down. The office industry is down. Wall Street is down. The entire government is down. Come to think of it, everything is down. Oh, but the WORLD'S OLDEST PROFESSION IS STILL GOING STRONG! HOORAY PROSTITUTES! YES! PROSTITUTION FOREVER!

• Kevin from the Other Dimension : Somewhere in this story, Lind and the Goddesses go to a Post Apocalyptic Shopping Mall. The Goddesses are ambushed by demons and some of the Valkyries are picked off.

  Titles : Lind and the Valkyries burst into the room looking for survivors. There's no one there.

  Belldandy : Where are all of the survivors?

  Lind : We didn't come here for survivors. We came here for this.

  Titles : Lind picks up a suitcase lying in the middle of the floor. Lind opens the suitcase. There's a bright shiny light coming out of it but we don't know what it is.

  Keiichi Morisato : What is it?

  Lind : It's... a MacGuffin.

  Urd : A MacGuffin?... I think I've heard about those...

  Keiichi Morisato : Wait, I'm confused, what's a MacGuffin?

  Lind : A MacGuffin is a bullshit plot element that the heroes and villains fight over in a suspense film. The purpose of the MacGuffin is not what it is or what it can do... but how it can drive the plot along in whatever bullshit ways are possible.

  Skuld : A MacGuffin? We're fucking dying out here left and right and you brought us in here for a MacGuffin?

  Lind : I'm following direct orders from the Almighty. This is no ordinary MacGuffin. This MacGuffin will bring joy and laughter back to the refugees, and perhaps save all of Heaven from being wiped out of existence.

  Belldandy : THESE GODDESSES ARE DEAD, LIND! Say what you want about the Demons... but I don't see them fucking each other over for a MacGuffin! When we get back, I'm going to see that the Almighty nails your ass to the wall for this! Right to the FUCKING WALL!

  Lind : You wish, Tinkerbell.

  Skuld : They mostly come at night... mostly.

• Kevin from the Other Dimension : And then there was this scene that introduced the main villains of the series, a terrorist group called The Individual Me's. This scene was meant to be a shot by shot, word for word remake of a scene from Carol for Another Christmas with Mara Marller in the Peter Sellers role. I actually had a valid reason for doing this. The Rejected Sequel is a Post Apocalypse film, featuring the Goddesses of Past, Present, and Future. Likewise, Carol for Another Christmas is another post apocalypse film ripoff of A Christmas Carol, meaning it features the Ghsots of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. The following scene was written by Rod Serling.

  Mara Marller : I... am the Imperial Me! And this is the Non-Government of the Me People! Now... why don't we just relax and get nice and cozy. And now, folks, the first item on, uh, today's agenda, is this business, with the people from down yonder, the people from across the river, want to come in here and talk about what they call, "OUR" mutual problems. Our common differences. Now! They want to talk! Talk! Talk-Talk-Talk-Talk! About our problems. They want to Debate! Debate! Debate! About solutions! And until somehow, they get, "THEIR" problems solved, they want to - waste - OUR - time. They want US to commit ourselves, to that kind of surrender!

  Keiichi Morisato : Everybody here is insane!

  Mara Marller : Now then, they don't come out in so many words, and say that they want to take over. They're too clever for that. But that's what they want. They want to take over us, Individual Me's, and if we let them seep in here from down yonder cross the river, if we let these do gooders these bleeding hearts, propagate their insidious doctrine of involvement among us, they might, my dear friends, my Beloved Me's, we is in trouble. Deep, deep, trouble. Because... because we have now reached a pure state of civilization. The world of the Ultimate Me is finally within our grasp. It's a world where only the strong with exist. Where only the powerful will love. Where finally, the word 'WE', will be STAMPED! OUT! And will become 'I'... FOREVER! Because we are each the wise. We are each the strong. And we are EACH the INDIVIDUAL ME'S!

  Keiichi Morisato : Listen to me! Please let me speak! To the best of our knowledge, we are all of humanity that remains alive. All that's left. We have survived the Nuclear Holocaust. And if we are to go on surviving, we are to work together now. We must talk together. And if other people want to join us, if they want to talk with us, we must listen to them. And we must respond to them. We must begin again. We must have law again. And ethics, and order, and decency. These things aren't determined by the mob! There are things that must be made real! We must be made right! Only these things can guarantee our survival! The goodness of man! The potential morality of man! The capability! The capability of human beings! To achieve dignity and decency! Together! Not 'I' or 'They'! But 'We'! You understand! The only alternative to that is nothing! Don't you see that people! Don't you see!

  Mara Marller : You are charged with the treason of involvement. You are charged with the subversion of the Individual Me. How do you plead?

  Demon Crowd : Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!

  Mara Marller : Do you have anything to say? It's your right as an Individual Me, you know, just say anything that comes into your head. You don't have to think about it. Just say it.

  Keiichi Morisato : I may be all the sanity that is left. I may be all the conscience that remains on earth. I can't let you kill me!

  Belldandy : Animals. Miserable Rotten Animals.

  Mara Marller : And now my friends. Next on the agenda. We must go out and dispose of those people from down yonder cross river. That want to come in here and talk. We must dispose of them. Because 'We' are the 'Individual Me's. And we must carry our glorious philosophy through to it's glorious culination. So that the end with enterprise and determination, the world, and everything in it, will belong to one individual me, and that will be the ultimate! THE ABSOLUTE ULTIMATE! So Me's... after we kill the interlopers, the talkers, the involvers, who are on their way here now, we shall then be free, to receive, the most important business of all. Which is, the killing, of each other. Until there remains only the ONE - INDIVIDUAL - ME. Right? ONE... ALONE! Now let's get out of here. To each behind his own fence. Each behind his own barracade. Follow me, my friends, my loved ones, to the perfect society. THE CIVILIZATION - OF I!

• The Almighty : People of the Nine Realms. People of All Nations. Thousands of years ago, I created the Heavens and the Earth, and I created humanity in my own image and gave them free will. But then I drowned their sorry asses for not doing what I told them to do. Why I do this? Because I'm God, Motherfuckers. That's what I do. But from that day forth I've promised never to do that again. Now it seems that I've given you such leniency, that you've taken all of my rope, and hanged yourselves with it, leaving us to pay for the funeral. This month, we have suffered the greatest loss of human history. Not simply the death of mankind. But the death of planet earth itself. Rather than reward you all with eternity in the afterlife, I've come to a much more viable solution. I am simply going to give you what you want. As thanks for all of your year of belief in us, your blind faith, and your love, I have just created five brand new planets for you to colonize as you wish. After all, it stands to reason that if it took you this long to destroy one planet, then surely it will take an eternity to destroy five of them, Right? Right? We are also giving your luxury space travel and flying cars. Yes, we've been keeping it a secret from you. Star Trek is real. All we ask in return is this. Don't come back. For the love of God. Don't come back. We just can't handle living with you anymore. The five new planets are: Planet Belldandy. Planet Urd. Planet Skuld. Planet Peorth. And most importantly, Planet Lind. Serve your new masters well and listen to their wisdom.

  Man in Crowd : So, what' you're saying is... Star Trek is real? STAR TREK IS REAL!

  The Almighty : Coincidentally, if there are any heathen poets in the audience, we could use a new poetic edda.

  Man in Crowd : We've already got one! It's called OH MY GODDESS!

  Peorth : Wait... they think Oh My Goddess is the modern day Poetic Edda?

  Skuld : Wow. My very own planet. I can't wait. EVIL LAUGH.

  Kevin from the Other Dimension : So those are most of the scenes from the Rejected Sequel. If I missed anything, you can find it in the script posted on Goddess-Project.net. Hope that satisfies your curiousity.

  Titles : Dedicated to Peter Sellers. The Original Individual Me.