- Brock Sampson: It's Level One, Billy; it's a show. He stuns you, you stun him, he vows revenge and you tell him that good always triumphs over evil.
- Billy Quizboy: Does it?
- Brock Sampson: Of course not. Now get out there and get this crap over with! You're blocking traffic.
- Watch: Every one of these doors leads into the future of organized evil.
- [opens a door to reveal a muddy blob person sitting on a toilet]
- Muddy Blob: Shut the fuckin' door!
- Ward: Except for that door - it's the mena's room.
- Muddy Blob: Ladies' room!
- [the blob yells out from inside the bathroom]
- The Monarch: So, ready to pull your first P.E.N.I.S.?
- Augustus St. Cloud: That sounds un-appetizing.
- The Monarch: A P.E.N.I.S. is just an acronym for: Preliminary Effective New Information Schooling. It's like recon, but you bust shit up.
- Dr. Venture: "Welcome to your demise" yadda, yadda, yadda...
- [reading a Guild death threat]