- Queen Tulip: [looking through her telescope] And they've kidnapped my husband. Looks like I'll have to go over and fix this.
- [the queen dives overboard]
- Patrick: You can do it, Your Majesty.
- [sounds of fighting from afar]
- Patrick: [looking through his telescope] Well, they just tied up the Queen.
- Queen Tulip: [to the King] Here you are, always getting kidnapped, and I have to come to the rescue. I own your dick!
- Professor: Here are our demands. Cancel Kraken Week, more funds for conservation, end the culturally insensitive ban on virgin sacrifices because the Krakens are starving!
- King Merriman: I don't negotiate with nerds.
- Professor: Ohhh, you will. So you won't cancel Kraken week, eh? The I have no choice then but to cancel you!
- King Merriman: What the hell does that mean?
- Professor: The history books are full of Kraken sacrifices - usually princesses. We don't have a princess handy, but we have the next best thing...
- [scene cuts to Queen Tulip tied to a rock on a desert island]