- Frankie Bergstein: If one of your girls wrote you a check to pay back all the money they owed you, would you cash it?
- Robert Hanson: Sure. I'd use the money to buy ice skates, because hell would've frozen over.
- Grace Hanson: I like the enthusiasm, but vibrators aren't like donuts. People don't bring a dozen into work.
- Frankie Bergstein: [enthusiastically] Because masturbation in the office isn't socially acceptable yet.
- Brianna Hanson: [prepping Grace for her magazine interview] So, the article is about older women who are still dynamic in the workplace. So, find a way to mention Snapchat and where you were during Pearl Harbor. It's a delicate dance.
- Robert Hanson: [brainstorming while on pot] May I ask you, did Alexander Graham Cracker need anyone's permission to invent the cotton gin?
- Frankie Bergstein: [chuckles] He didn't invent the cotton gin.
- Sol Bergstein: So let me get this straight. You got my husband high, you fed him a bunch of fried food, and then you lost my dog?
- Frankie Bergstein: I don't know if it was in that order.
- [last lines]
- Grace Hanson: How are we going to get the money to pay for all this?
- Frankie Bergstein: Did you know you can just send this right to the bank?